persistent headache

mgkn gw yg lagi capek, headache (persistent one, been having it since 98) gw kok rasanya makin parah aja ya. supposedly my head is ok, after the bangs it took in my accident. dulu udah discan, darah yg tadinya ngumpul, udah drained semua. lagian gw jg every week day minum teh ijo, so cancer can be ruled out. can't it?

hahaha... sesuai dgn tema gw yg lagi "positif", ini artinya gw musti konsentrasi aja utk setiap hal yg gw lakuin. gak boleh idle. soalnya klo idle, pasti sakit kepalanya lgs kerasa. jadi, gw gak boleh males2an nih.

reliving my past (blogs)

gw lagi ngerip cd2 gospel dari debby/dips. rada banyak & rada lama. gw musti konek ke internet, utk download judul2 tracknya.

mumpung konek, gw sekalian aja ngebaca blog gw ini dari sejak pertama kali gw bikin. dan wow! dalam 1 thn lebih, udah banyak ya cerita2 gw. sebagian malah ada yg udah gw lupain. ckckck... it's like having a flashback. it's good to have memories, bad and good. some bring smiles, some bring tears, and some bring grins. yg bikin gw bersyukur adalah ternyata kehidupan gw gak lurus2 aja. there's been ups and downs. dan itu yg ngebikin hidup lebih exciting, isn't it?

tadi sore gw maen bowling di pasaraya sama tirza & sepupunya. spt dulu, lagi2 gw kalah. kyknya i've lost my touch ya. hehehe... tirza blg ke gw, walaupun blog2 gw akhir2 ini isinya mellow, tapi buat dia asik2 aja, soalnya mostly are positive. well, thanks, cha! gw emang skrg2 selalu mencoba utk positif kok.

omong2 soal positif, saat ini gw udah ngambil keputusan utk stick dgn psgp. biarpun ada tawaran2 utk gabung ps effatha, dan ada godaan2 lain, gw pikir gw harus ngebelain psgp, soalnya skrg2 ini sptnya psgp needs support. lotsa supports! dan sapa lagi yg bisa ngebela psgp, klo bukan org2 spt gw. dgn sejarah gw yg cukup panjang dgn psgp (this is my 3rd stint), gw pny hubungan yg khusus dgn paduan suara ini, sebuah hubungan yg gak tergantung dgn individu2.

a touching story

Deaf girl hears Jingle Bells for the first time
By Paul Stokes
(Filed: 23/12/2005)

Josie Caven, who was born deaf, will be able to hear Christmas carols for the first time after having cochlear implants in both ears.

Josie, 12, was previously able to distinguish only a few sounds through hearing aids which she has worn from the age of two.

She beamed with delight as she listened to Jingle Bells on the radio for the first time.

"It is so nice to hear music, especially Christmas carols," she said.

"I have asked mum and dad for an iPod so I can listen to the Black Eyed Peas."

Josie, who lives with her father Richard, 43, mother Teresa, 37, sister Olivia, 10, and brother Anthony, four, suffers wide vestibular aqueduct syndrome.

The condition, which Olivia also has, causes deafness through allowing an exchange of fluids that damages the inner ear. Mrs Caven, who runs the Old Station Inn, at Birstwith, near Harrogate, North Yorks, with her husband, said: "I have never seen Josie so happy.

"She heard Jingle Bells on the radio and when she looked up her face was a picture as she realised what she was listening to.

"She wants an iPod for Christmas. There is a wire which can go directly to the implants, so it will be like having her favourite music inside her head."

Four years ago Josie was provided with a digital hearing aid, allowing her to start mainstream lessons at St Aidan's Church of England School, Harrogate.

However, specialists found that her hearing was worsening in the summer and she was referred for the implants at Bradford Royal Infirmary.

Mrs Caven said: "She is having to learn what each new sound is and what it means. She will ask: 'Was that a door closing?'

"Being able to see her face light up as she takes in everything around her is all I could have asked for this Christmas."

cerita yang menarik dari news.telegraph. dan buat gw cukup mengharukan. especially the last para. what did i ask for Christmas this year? kyknya gak ada sih. gw gak ngarep apa2. but things i did these last few days can be considered as precious gifts. nyanyi di malam natal. ngobrol2 sama ajeng, tirza, debby, dan temen2 lain. jadi pengarah acara di natal effatha (so i could contribute something to the church, and ultimately, to God). sure, some were tiring (the pengarah acara thingy was very tiring, both mentally and physically). but the feelings, good feelings, were enough for me. new things were found, and old ones rediscovered. mirip spt cerita joice caven di atas. meskipun ada hal2 jelek yg jg gw alami, it'd be ungrateful not to be grateful. as i said before, i'm blessed. dan gw bakal makin seneng klo gw bisa bagi2 blessings yg gw dapet ke org2 lain. by whatever means.

on a side note, kmrn tirza bilang ke gw klo isi blog gw akhir2 ini mellow. dan gw kmrn masih blm sadar. tapi stlh gw baca2 lagi, ternyata emang iya ya. kyknya mental gw lg gak stabil nih. hehehe...

thanks, ajeng!

hari ini, setelah sekian lama gak ktemu, gw ktemu sama ajeng di ps. janjian utk makan siang. dan pergilah kita ke pizza hut. pizza hut di plaza senayan itu letaknya di dalem supermarket sogo. weird. pegawai2nya juga kyknya masih rada dodol gitu.

but eniwei, it wasn't important. gw & ajeng masih bisa ngobrol2 dgn santai, biarpun kadang2 terganggu suara mixer. ya gak jeng? *wink2*

ternyata banyak yg bisa diomongin, biarpun udah sering chat lewat ym ya. mulai dari gosip2 di ktr, gosip2 pribadi, gosip2 org laen *heh?!*, dan masalah keluarga, sampe ke masalah2 yg gak penting. saking banyaknya, waktu kita keluar dari pizza hut, udah jam 4 sore! so we were there for about 4 hours. hahaha...

the talk gave me a bit of different perspektif. biasanya gw klo ngobrol2 sampe sedeket itu cuma sama debby ato tirza. mereka berdua, more or less, shaped in a similar mould. pendapat2 yg gw dapet dr mrk jg more or less mirip. i'm not saying talking to them is bad, no i'm not. tapi it's kinda refreshing to get a different bird eye view on things. *jangan marah2 dulu, oma =P*

so where next, jeng? and when? tinggal bilang aja. khan katanya berikutnya gantian loe yg traktir. hehehe...

it's good to have very good friends. i'm blessed. very much blessed. thanks to you all, my dear friends! it'll be sad to leave you. and here's hoping i'll never have to leave.

so this is christmas...

honestly, natalan taon ini was a mixture of good and bad experience buat gw. let's start with the good ones first:

• nyanyi di malam natal. rasanya udah lama banget gw gak nyanyi di malem natal, sama psgp. at least not in the last 2 years. it felt good, but somehow different. nanti ini bakal masuk ke bad jg.
• more smses! kyknya taon ini gw dapet sms jauh lebih banyak dibanding taon lalu. dan tentunya gw jg kirim lebih banyak sih. hehehe

and here are the bad ones:

• my parents. penting banget gak sih, brantem di hari natal over ridiculous things, heh?
• debby. kasian nih si debby, gak bisa ngapa2in di hari natal. dan gw jadi kehilangan dia wkt malam natal kmrn.
• nyanyi di malam natal. mgkn gw terlalu nostalgic ya, tapi psgp skrg kok kyknya beda sama dulu. it was fun, it was crazy. mgkn krn skrg udah beda generasi?
• i was (and still am) lonely. yg ini aneh banget. biasanya gw gak ngerasa kesepian (gak di hari natal, gak di hari2 laen). tp knp taon ini beda ya?!?!

so, this is christmas. kok banyakan badnya dari goodnya ya? oh well, things can only get better from here. here's hoping next year will be better from me.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
SELAMAT HARI NATAL!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RIANTI!!

Happy birthday buat salah 1 temen khusus gw: RIANTI SETIADARMA! Many happy returns (of investment, spt yg loe blg di sms, ri). hehehehe...

I just saw my possible future...

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce my uncle, Oom Adri, to you. This picture was taken today, at the service. His photo was a bit blurry, but it was still much better than what was inside the casket. You see, when my uncle was found at his home, it was estimated he'd been dead for at least 24 hours. So his body was already swollen here and there. I took another picture of him, on the slab, and I didn't recognize him at all. It was that bad.

I'm so much alike him, you know. We both like computers. We both like to sing, although we take a different route in singing. And we both have "Warouw" as our last names.

But what scares me the most is, he died alone. He was 79, but he wasn't married. Fortunately there were a lot of us, his family, so he was taken care of. Me, I don't want to get married. When I told Debby about Oom Adri, her reply was: "Tuh kan... Udah ada contohnya kan? Niat lo jd utk ga nikah?" Debby and I had a deep discussion about this before we went to Malaysia, and her words was realized in front of me when I saw Oom Adri's body. There, I saw myself, several years in the future, lying on the slab, swollen, alone. I had goosebumps, and I still do.

Some of my relatives pointed that very fact to me as well. Kak Nina. Kak Pinky. "Kamu mau meninggal sendirian kayak Oom Adri?" was all I got from them. I still don't know the answer.

But, at least, Oom Adri died while doing one of his favorite things. He was found sitted in front of his computer.

If I have to die, I'd like to die while doing one of my favorite things as well. For now, it'd be either while I was singing, or in front of my computer. That'd be the perfect death.

Oom Adri, rest in peace.

YET another death in the family!

ASTAGA!!ASTAGA!!ASTAGA!!ASTAGA!!ASTAGA!!ASTAGA!! tadi pagi ortu gw dapet telp. klo telp pagi2 gitu biasanya berita penting khan. and it was. Oom Adri meninggal! yet another member of my family. this one surprised me, since it was only 2 weeks ago that he went to lunch with us. gw harus gak ngantor hari ini, soalnya dia termasuk org yg penting buat gw.

Oom Adri is the ultimate geek. dia Warouw tertua dari sepupu2 terdekat bokap gw, dan lmyn gila komputer. we could discuss computer things for hours. dan dia demen banget nyanyi, apalagi rock & roll. and guess what: he wasn't married.

hmmm.. Warouw. geek. gila komputer. demen nyanyi. not married. sounds familiar... it's kinda like me, isn't it?!? ya ampun... mgkn gw udah sub-consciously model myself after him ya. but he wasn't a bad example. even in his 70something age, he could have fun, and enjoyed life.

*sigh* there goes my uncle yg suka nyanyi di acara keluarga, pake joget2 rock & roll. there goes my uncle yg suka nraktir2. there goes my uncle yg demen maen sindir2an sama ortu gw. there goes my uncle yg suka diskusi sama nyokap ttg obat2an.

Godspeed, Oom Adri. and God bless. God bless us all. RIP.

another death in the family

gw barusan dapet sms dari nyokap: Tante Rikje meninggal. OH NO!!! satu lagi keluarga gw yg orangnya lucu dan demen becanda... geez... what's going on here ya... kmrn Oma Els, skrg Tante Rikje... to be fair, Oma Els emang udah tua, dan Tante Rikje emang udah sakit dari bbrp wkt lalu. tapi tetap aja, i feel lost.

Strangely appropriate enough, gw lg pasang ipod, dan lagu yg sedang muter wkt gw nulis blog ini adalah "PEACE". ya, gw yakin Tante Rikje skrg udah merasa damai. not that she wasn't feeling peace when she was alive, tapi skrg dia gak usah mikirin penyakitnya lagi. anak2nya udah dewasa semua juga. cuma kasian si oom nih.

UPDATE: ibadah pelepasan besok, jam 2 siang. gw gak tau bisa dateng apa gak nih. ada upacara adat juga, soalnya si oom cukup kuat berpegang pada adat Bataknya.

Oma Els *RIP*

Oma Els. Ya, sebenernya bukan oma dalam arti yg sebenarnya, soalnya dia bukan mama dari bokap ato nyokap. Oma Els ini tante dari bokap. Secara bokap panggil dia tante, ya gw manggil dia oma gitu loh.

Oma Els ini orangnya lucu banget. Tiap ketemu dia (sayangnya, jarang), kita pasti bcanda2. Biarpun masih di dalem gedung gereja, kita bisa sampe lupa diri.

Gw inget ada kisah lucu. Waktu itu 1 tante gw meninggal, dan mo dibikinin acara pengucapan syukur. Nyokap telp si Oma Els ini utk kasih tau. Begitu dia sampe di tempat acara, pas liat nyokap, dia lgs nangis heboh. Kita heran, soalnya setau kita, dia gak deket2 banget sama tante yg meninggal itu. Ya udah, kita pikir, mgkn dia ternyata deket ya. Waktu makan malam, gw duduk di deket dia. Dia kaget. Terus dia tanya: "Ngana anak siapa??" Lho, gw gantian kaget, khan mustinya dia tau gw. Untung wkt itu ada bokap (ato nyokap, gw gak inget). Dan dijawab klo gw anak mrk. Nah, rupanya, dia salah ngerti wkt dapet kabar dari nyokap lwt telpon. Dia pikir gw yg meninggal! Makanya wkt msk tadi dia nangis di pelukan nyokap, soalnya dia pikir gw yg meninggal. Hehehe... Sejak itu, setiap kali kita ktemu, dia pasti nanya begini ke gw: "Nah, ngana masih hidup!" Dan kita pasti bakal ktawa heboh.

Gw bakal kehilangan kalimat tersebut, dan kehilangan tawa2 & canda2 Oma Els. Selamat jalan, oma. Rest in peace. You're with God already.

"Mencari Tuhan"

Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am. Saya berpikir, karena itu saya ada.

Manusia memang diberi kemampuan untuk berpikir. Kemampuan inilah yang membedakannya dari sebagian besar makhluk hidup lain, di luar binatang-binatang seperti lumba-lumba atau paus. Dan tentunya kita memang harus berpikir. Otak harus dilatih, supaya tidak tumpul.

Dalam perkembangannya, manusia seringkali menjadi terlalu banyak berpikir, dan logika menguasai segalanya. Segala sesuatu harus mengikuti aturan logika. Ya atau tidak. Benar atau salah. Hitam atau putih. Tidak ada abu-abu. Semua hal dipertanyakan. Dari yang paling sederhana, hingga (menurut saya) yang paling sulit: TUHAN. Apakah Tuhan itu ada? Kalau Tuhan itu ada, kenapa ada hal-hal yang (menurut pemikiran kita) tidak adil?

Pertanyaan-pertanyaan seperti di atas sudah pernah dilontarkan oleh filsuf-filsuf Yunani. Sehingga akhirnya timbullah Filsafat dan Logika. Sebagai orang yang pernah kuliah di Unika Atma Jaya, Filsafat dan Logika adalah dua mata kuliah yang pernah saya ambil, karena wajib. Kedua mata kuliah ini menarik, karena memberikan sudut pandang yang berbeda dari pelajaran agama, dan bahkan, jika ditilik secara serius, akan bertentangan dengan agama, dan Tuhan.

Tema "Mencari Tuhan" sudah lama diangkat, baik secara serius maupun secara fiksi. Star Trek, misalnya, sudah paling tidak dua kali memunculkan "makhluk" dengan kekuatan setara Tuhan (terjemahan bebas dari "God-like powers").

Bagi penganut agama, tentu saja Tuhan itu ada. Kita percaya. Itu sudah cukup. Malah mungkin pertanyaan "Apakah Tuhan itu ada?" bisa dianggap sebagai sebuah dosa. Mempertanyakan Tuhan. "Why God, why?" Saya rasa hampir semua orang yang bisa berpikir pernah mempertanyakannya. Misalnya ketika mereka tertimpa malapetaka, atau kejadian-kejadian yang menurutnya tidak adil atau tidak sepantasnya mereka terima. Tapi dari agama yang diajarkan kepada kita, seharusnya ada jawaban untuk semua pertanyaan tersebut. Masalahnya, untuk orang-orang "pemikir" ini, jawaban yang diambil berdasarkan agama seringkali tidak memuaskan, karena tidak bisa dilihat atau disentuh, atau tidak sesuai dengan logika. Mereka kemudian akan terus mencari dan mencari.

Topik ini saya angkat karena seorang teman bercerita tentang pacarnya yang ternyata termasuk ke dalam golongan "Agnostik". Agnostik ini mirip dengan Atheis, tapi mereka kadang-kadang masih bisa menerima anggapa tentang adanya Tuhan.

Setelah mendengar ceritanya, mau tidak mau saya berpikir: Apakah saya terlalu menggantungkan diri? Terlalu pasrah? "Ah, kalau saya memang sial, mungkin ini cobaan dari Tuhan." "Oh, rejeki ini datangnya dari Tuhan." Sementara si pacar teman ini selalu mempertanyakan hal-hal yang paling sederhana sekali pun. Apakah artinya kemampuan berpikir dia lebih tinggi dari saya?

Ah, tidak. Buat saya, masih ada hal-hal lain yang lebih penting yang perlu dipikirkan, daripada membuang-buang waktu untuk mempertanyakan Tuhan. Kembali ke mata pelajaran Filsafat dan Logika yang pernah sama ambil di Atma Jaya, kedua mata pelajaran tersebut tidak membuat saya mempertanyakan Tuhan. Justru saya tertarik dengan pemikiran-pemikiran Plato dan kawan-kawannya.

Saya berpikir. Saya ada. Dan menurut saya, Tuhan tidak memberikan kemampuan kita berpikir untuk mempertanyakan keberadaanNya, melainkan untuk melakukan yang terbaik yang bisa kita lakukan di dunia ini, untuk kebaikan diri kita.

Itu pendapat saya. Pendapat orang lain bisa berbeda. Whatever I may desire.

guys, how lucky you are...

dlm 2 hari ini gw ngobrol culup banyak dgn 2 temen baik gw, debby & tirza. dlm 2 kesempatan yg berbeda, of course. we talked about lotsa things. dan salah satu topik yg dibahas adalah ttg pacar. situasinya cukup menarik, krn gw pacar-less, dan kedua ladies ini "in a relationship" (friendster banget sih gw?!?!?!). dari pembicaraan2 tsb gw bisa simpulkan (dan mrk juga terang2an nyebut), klo mereka sayang (banget, malah) sama pacar2nya. isn't that romantic?

masalah apakah co2 mrk juga sayang banget sama mrk adalah hal yg buat gw gak terlalu penting. dan klo ternyata mrk gak sayang, hmmm... guys, you just don't realize how lucky and blessed you are. if ever you abandon those nice girls, expect me to come and knock some sense back into you! =D

terus terang aja, gw jadi rada sedih dan sirik. sepanjang pengalaman gw pacaran, kyknya gw blm dpt ce yg sayang ke gw, spt kedua temen gw itu kpd co2nya. some can argue that i was too "cuek" to realize, tapi pengalaman gw pacaran lebih banyak diisi dgn "memadamkan kebakaran", alias bujukin ce2 yg ngambeg mulu.

*sigh* knp gw jadi kesannya desperate gini sih ya?!?! OMG!

sacrifices

someone is missing in the picture. who?? ME! ME! ME! yup. tirza ngundang psgp effatha, melalui gw, utk nyanyi di acara natal gki klasis jakarta 2, dan gw, sbg liaison, malah gak nyanyi. sebel. honestly, the few minutes of "let there be peace on earth", lagu yg dinyanyiin psgp, serasa lamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa banget buat gw. sebel! sebel! sebel!

on a more positive note, i felt great there. suasananya enak. felt like home. dan, much to my own surprise, gw dengan mudahnya nyanyi dgn tepuk tangan. heh?!?! but really, the situation was very, very comfy for me. banyak ce2 cakep pula! hahahaha...

i jokingly told debby di sms: "mustinya gw stay longer ya." so maybe i should. maybe i should. hahaha...

topik refleksi acara tadi adalah "pengorbanan". dan utk ikut acara ini, pengorbanan gw lumayan banyak.
1. gw sampe gak salaman dgn yohan, yg tadi nikah.
2. gw sampe gak dateng ke nikahan 2 temen gw malem ini.
3. gw sampe rela utk duduk doank selama psgp nyanyi.

hehehe... bukannya mo sombong sih. tp gak logis aja donk klo gw gak dateng. tirza itu ngundangnya lwt gw, lah masa gw gak dtg, gara2 gw gak nyanyi. it's courtesy gitu loh. i make sacrifices from time to time. some i regret, some i don't.

but kudos to kompa kajadu. acaranya tadi kreatifitasnya cukup tinggi. two thumbs up for creativity. but thumbs down for fluidity. kantata bisa dibikin lebih baik dan lebih efisien, klo ps2/vg2 pengisi acara udah siap utk nyanyi begitu scene kelar, instead of ushers having to let them in AFTER each scene was done. knp gak disuruh masuk waktu scene mo kelar?

it's a lesson for me, utk acara natal jemaat effatha, soalnya gw bakal jadi program director. fluidity! efficiency!

saying goodbye is never good

last night, i said goodbye to Yati, who'd be leaving for good to Palu. Unfortunately the occasion was ruined, thanks to the fashion designer. And we spent the night, with Debby, in hospital (with reinnese), pasaraya (looking for parker pens, jeans, and tickets), so we didn't have much time to talk about anything.

in the end, we went to starbucks, still trying to get her ticket. no luck, so she may have to go to airport and try to get a cancelled ticket. poor girl.

10pm the starbucks closed. away we went for taxi. i went to a different way, so i said goodbye there. i hugged her and kissed her cheeks. then she started to cry. oh no! fortunately Debby was there to comfort her. after that, both of them boarded the taxi and went. and i'm afraid i'm not going to see her for a long, long time. or, even worse, that was the last time.



now, yati is one "remnant", or should i say "link", to the old psgp, before i left for australia. she joined just before i left. so, when i rejoined psgp in 2001, she was one person i instantly recognized.

yati was my (and Ramses') favorite joke subject. and no matter how "cruel" we were, she'd just laugh. well, she acted angry from time to time, but as we didn't really mean to insult her, she played along. gosh, i'll miss those times greatly.

yati was also the one person i could talk to about anything. well, mainly psgp, though, since she was deeply involved. now i'll have noone to discuss about pgsp anymore.

ARRGGGGHHHH!! circumstances, circumstances.

well, kurniyati mathilda pusung, take good care of yourself ya. i'm missing you already. may your mom get well soon.

FASHION DESIGNER BRENGSEK!!!!!

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Funny signs of Malaysia

3 hari 3 malem di malaysia, dan hasilnya cuma foto2 spt di atas. hahahaha... no, other photos will be posted soon. foto2 di atas gw taro duluan soalnya rada unik, dan gak usah komentar2 yg aneh, jadi bisa gw upload lwt blogger. foto2 laen bakal gw taro di geocities, as usual. enjoy!

pacaran (redux)

"Mungkin loe ngerasa nggak perlu pacar. Tapi loe udah pikir belom, klo nanti loe tua, siapa yg ngurusin loe? Kakak loe? Ipar loe? Ponakan loe?"

Kalimat-kalimat di atas muncul dari 1 temen gw, wkt gw ngobrol dgn dia di pim 2, kamis kmrn. Dan perkataan2nya emang bener. Dan gw emang udah pernah mikir jg. Tapi somehow, gw selalu berpikir klo gw gak bakal sampe di saat di mana gw menjadi sedemikian tuanya sampe perlu perhatian org lain. Yeah, it's that dying young thingy. I'm morbid. Sue me.

Dunno yah. It's kinda complicated. Seperti yg pernah gw blg di blog ini, miniatur gw yg berwarna merah, bertanduk, dan bertrisula, selalu muncul klo gw mulai mikirin ce, dan selalu berkata seperti begini: "HEH! GAK KAPOK LOE PACARAN?? SELALU DIREPOTIN CE YG NGAMBEG ATO NGOMEL2IN LOE MULU???" and he's right. Gw kapok.

Dan ada 1 masalah lagi yg juga bikin gw males utk pacaran. My parents. They're weird. Even I still haven't been able to comprehend them. Terus terang aja gw akhir2 ini semakin males spend time di rumah (or more precisely: spend time with them), sehingga every time a chance pops up to stay out, I'd stay out. Take sambolo, for example. I jumped at the chance, just like that.

It's just that I don't want to hurt my parents, and I don't want them to hurt anyone, namely, my girlfriend (if any, I should add).

Sooo, what's the verdict? I dunno. Maybe I someday when I'm a bit older, I should jump in front of a moving train or something. *sigh*

pacaran

klo gw jalan2 ke mall ato everywhere, pasti ktemu sepasang manusia yg jalannya mesra. entah gandengan ato glendotan (jatoh kali yak!), ato malah jalan sambil pelukan. pas ngliat, mau gak mau gw pny perasaan sirik. naturally lah. terus lgs mikir "wahhh enak ya klo punya pacar, bisa jalan berdua, mesra2an, or whatever couples do." tapi terus otak practical gw kicks in: "eh! reseh khan klo ce loe ngambeg ato marah2. gak inget wkt dulu2 heh?!?!" which is true. gw udah males ngadepin ce yg bakal marah2 ato ngambeg ato ngapain lah. apakah itu artinya gw cuma mo yg enak2? gak mo susah? mgkn gak segampang itu ya. based on experience, ce itu bisa marah2 tanpa sebab. my last two relationships taught me enough. well, one of those relationships wasn't even pacaran, for God's sake!

so here i am, enjoying life as it is. dgn gaya hidup gw yg semakin serampangan gini, gak mgkn jg gw to accomodate a person into my life. dan dgn prinsip gw yg gak mo susah ato repot, gak mgkn jg gw utk ngubah diri gw. well, never say never, i guess, but so far the practical me always wins! hahahaha...

Photos from Sambolo

pada rame2 nongkrongin tukang tato. gw sendiri sih mualesh ditato. useless.


gw lagi begaya. lengkap dgn kacamata ala morpheus 'matrix'. hahaha...

note: tadi gw sempet coba upload foto lgs ke google, gak lewat geocities. tapi gw sama sekali gak impressed. malah jadi sebel. mending balik ke awal deh.

liburan yg menyenangkan!

wowwwwwww!!! baru balik dari 1-night vacation di sambolo, carita. bareng budi, ika, deden, renya, fannie, & rahmat. it was fun!!! bener2 liburan yg santaiii... gw bisa istirahat. dan gw sengaja gak bawa laptop tercinta ini, soalnya toh gw pikir di sana gak bakal bisa konek internet, so what's the point khan?

lucunya, liburan di pantai, tapi i didn't want to get wet. jadi sementara temen2 gw pada jebur2 di laut, gw tenang2 aja duduk di pantai, sambil motret2 mrk. begitu pula wkt mrk naek banana boat. i didn't want to be ribet, so i opted to stay behind. hey, my objective was to get some rest, okay! =P

can't wait...

can't wait. for kl? nooo... for christmas! natal! mood gw udah dlm mood natal gini. dan ini salah satu lagu natal fav gw yg berulang2 gw puter terus di ipod gw. penyanyinya? sapa lagi klo bukan point of grace. hehehe...


EMMANUEL, GOD WITH US / O COME, O COME EMMANUEL

She lit a candle in a downtown cathedral
Quietly confessing, counting on a blessing
She looked as if she had nowhere to go
I could see her weeping
Hands together hoping you would hear...

This is the time of year
We hold our families near
But God let us be a friend to the hurting

Oh Emmanuel, God with us
Spirit revealed in us
That we may be your hope to the world
Oh Emmanuel, God with us
With a light to break the darkness
That we may show your hope to the world
Emmanuel, God with us
Be God in us

I moved in closer just so I could see her face
Maybe she was a mother
Someone's only daughter
Her silver hair shimmered like the snow
Christmas bells were ringing
Now beside her kneeling I asked her name

(And she said)
This was the time of year
I had my family near
But they've all gone and I have been so lonely
(Chorus)

So with my family that Christmas day
A girl of sixty years would laugh and play
And as we watched her dance our eyes were full of tears...


a very good, touching song... dan thanks to this song, gw yg tadinya bt sama psgp, jadi tertantang lagi utk contribute something. if not thoughts, then at least my voice lah. after all, it's not about persons, it's about God. am i right or am i right?

nooooo, not again!?!?!

semalem gw terlibat dlm diskusi yg cukup engaging, sama yathi, dips, & ulie. topiknya adalah psgp. yeah, what else?!?! kita ber-4 are very, very concerned about the current status of psgp. the way it's handled. anggota2nya. pelatihnya. everything! dan dari diskusi tsb, gw rasa kita dapet bbrp kesimpulan yg bisa dipake oleh psgp.

but there's a problem: kita bukan pengurus. and that fashion designer is very unlikely to appreciate our thoughts. crazy, selfish, banyak gaya, smart-ass b*tch. hmph.

and there's a bigger problem: dari 4 orang yg diskusi semalem, yathi bakal balik ke palu for good. dips & ulie udah ngerencanain to move to greener pastures next year. and that leaves only me! ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! obyektif awal gw wkt gabung lagi ke psgp adalah purely to sing. that's all. tapi skrg yg ada, gw harus berpikir dan berpikir. hmph. cape. ato jangan2 emang gw "disuruh" balik ke psgp utk nyumbangin pikiran gw ya... tapi masalahnya adalah i don't like the fashion designer, or at least the way she handles psgp. hmm.. melelahkan!

HUAAAAAAAAAAA

spt yg gw blg di post gw sebelom ini, begitu msk kerja, gw lgs ngadepin banyak kerjaan. dan ini hasilnya: sabtu-minggu gw msk kerja! aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!! liburan lebaran kmrn itu, terus terang aja, lebih banyak ngerugiin dibanding bikin enak. kerjaan numpuk puk puk puk...

anyway. si yathi balik ke jkt, meskipun cuma sementara. dia bakal balik ke palu for good akhir bulan ini. that's very sad. i missed her already. one of my very dependable friends, enak diajak curhat, dan bisa nyambung. meskipun gw sering nyela2 dia. hehehe...

apa lagi yaa... otak gw udah kebakar nih. can't think of anything else to write...

hari terakhir liburan

ini hari terakhir liburan. dan begitu masuk kerja lagi, lgs ngadepin banyak banget kerjaan! hehehe..

so what have i been doing ya... let's see...

hari pertama liburan, check-in di peninsula, ngindarin takbiran. kasian ponakan gw soalnya. so-so lah, yg penting bisa tidur adem.

hari kedua, check-out, terus makan di shangri-la. undangan tante maxi & oom iwan. sedapppp...

hari ketiga itu hari... jumat ya... kok gw lupa... kyknya sih gak ngapa2in...

hari keempat, sabtu, gw nongkrong di aksara. i was disappointed, soalnya koneksi internet di sana jadi jelek banget. mgkn krn gratisan ya... tp dibandingin sebelum2nya gw ke sana, kmrn itu asli jelek banget! malemnya ada kebaktian gp di effatha. yg bikin kebaktian ini rada penting adalah ini kebaktian pertama setelah youth weekend fellowship. dan ternyata ada muka2 baru, yg ikutan di ywf, muncul di kebaktian ini. that was good.

minggu, i did nothing and went nowhere. tidurrrr! hahaha... oh, sore2 chatting sama kakak gw. kasian dia, kangen sama anaknya. untung gw udah bisa mecahin masalah koneksi m8.

senin, siang2 gw bengong. sore2 ktemu icha di pasaraya buat maen bowling. 3 games. and those were my 3 worst games, ever! gak tau, jelek banget gw wkt itu. sama sekali gak bisa strike! damn! tp plg gak, si icha bisa hepi dikit dah, soalnya menang dari gw, hahaha... di sana ktemu jg sama conya. yg ktnya cukup penasaran pengen tau gw kyk gmn. hahahaha... abis itu gw lgs ke effatha. gak ada lat ps, tp sebagian anak2 tim kerja ywf pd ngumpul, soalnya mrk abis presentasi. biasa lah, becanda gila2an. stlh kelar, gw, dips, & era makan di lapangan deket pskd/gki.

hari ini, gw gak ngapa2in. baru bangun jam 11! hahaha... tekad gw hari ini adalah manfaatin hari libur terakhir ini dgn istirahaaaaaaatttt....

so it'll end the whole week of day off...

i'm connected again! wahoooo!!!

akhirnya gw bisa konek lagi ke vpn cbn m8 (say that eight times in a row)!!! setelah ngutak-ngatik sana sini, kok aneh... gw curiga dnsnya gak resolve. dan pas lagi stress2nya, sampe disable microsoft antispyware, terus liat2 zonealarm. lha, kok ada ip address utk cbn-vpn... gw masukin aja, gantiin "m8.cbn.net.id". voila! it's correct! lalala...

lagi2 di aksara

berhubung fren gw lg ngambeg, gw terpaksa musti online di aksara nih. lagian utang foto ke kakak gw udah banyak banget. so, here i am, back in aksara. dan di tempat yg sama! bused dah, gw sampe creep out sendiri. dari sekian kali gw ke sini, pasti selalu di tempat yg sama. which is good, soalnya rada private.

sayangnya, they've made some changes to the wifi connection. different access point, kyknya. klo dulu namanya "aksara-back", skrg jadi "3com". terus dnsnya jadi dodol, soalnya banyak domain yg gak resolve. hmph. but it's still free, so i shouldn't complain. hehehe...

gw bt

hmmm... knp ya gw malah bt, pdhl ini hari terakhir sebelom libur seminggu? mgkn krn obrolan gw dgn dips tadi pagi, soal ramses? kyknya sih. it turned out some people can't take jokes, even from their supposedly friends. skrg gw jd mikir utk gak get close with anybody. males khan, klo gw sangka mrk temen gw, tapi ternyata gampang banget tersinggung.

ngomong2 soal friends, kmrn gw ngobrol cukup lama sama icha di telp. dia nanya: "loe pny temen deket gak, phen?" i thought, i thought, and i thought. the answer is no. none. gak ada yg bener2 deket. gak ada org yg bener2 tau semua secret gw.

so, should i put barriers?

the days have passed...

akhirnya acara the youth weekend fellowship kelar juga. capenya amit2. dan yg bikin lebhi cape lagi adalah the two incompetent teammates i had: citra & olen. citra, yg de jure adalah koordinator sie pubdok, knew nothing. olen, knew nothing but begaya. gw mgkn sound harsh ya, tapi faktanya begitu. kita ngomong soal dokumentasi. in an event, mgkn dokumentasi adalah salah satu faktor yg paling penting, soalnya pictures make the event (and people who participated in the event) immortal khan. nah, how can those be immortal, klo gak kliatan apa2 di gambar2nya? we were using compact camers, dammit, so get close! mo diharepin apa dari flash yg segitu kecilnya? wkt gw lihat foto2nya, i had to delete some of them, soalnya bener2 gak bisa diapa2in lagi. bbrp msh bisa gw re-touch, diterangin dikit, meskipun hasilnya adlh noise yg gila2an. oh well.

terus ada lagi: equipment. wkt gw diminta sama reinnese utk jadi sie pubdok, gw lgs keinget kamera olympus gw: what a piece of junk for indoor picture taking. c-310z lgs out. dan mulailah gw mencari kamera2 baru. dan hasilnya adalah canon powershot a95 gw. dan gw jg lgs beli memory card yg cukup gede: 512mb. nah, citra doesn't have a digicam. olen punya, tapi memory cardnya cuma 32mb, for a 5mp camera, that translates into... what... 10-16 photos?!?! come on guys, have some common sense, please! if you can't be serious, don't take the job! kalian cuma bakal jadi burden bagi org laen! dan burdennya itu jatoh ke gw. i had to take over everything. being me, gw emang cenderung work alone sih, so no probs there. tp, tugas gw selama acara kmrn bukan cuma motret2. gw musti jadi operator notebook.

dan akhirnya, gw cape abis2an. begitu sampe rumah kmrn sore, gw lgs tepar. sayangnya, gw gak bisa lgs tidur. gw musti neraning sebagian foto dulu, then i could go to sleep. dan bangun2, everything was spinning. i guess it was my low bad pressure. damn!

oh well, gw musti back to work nih. 2 more days, stlh itu libur seminggu!

(trying to ) sleep, creatively!

katanya, klo susah tidur, kita bisa ngitung domba yg loncat pagar. sounds boring to me. gimana klo dombanya kita ganti aja. misalnya dgn pacar. now it's more interesting, isn't it? bayangin pacar kita yg lompat2 pagar. dan tentunya lebih dari satu donk, tapi tetap org yg sama, biar bisa diitung. nah krn manusia itu seharusnya lebih pinter dari domba, si pacar ini bisa aja nolak utk loncat pagar. mgkn dia bakal jalan muter. cari celah, gitu. ato bersama2 dgn kembaran2nya, kerja sama, saling dukung, utk bisa ke tanah sebelah tanpa harus ngelompat. ato mgkn karena capek, gak lompat, tapi manjat. ato, nah yg ini plg pinter: pagarnya dipotong, terus dia bikin pintu. niat khan? hehehe...

ide gila ini muncul semalem, sewkt gw "sama2 nyampah" sama 1 temen gw. dia blm ngantuk, dan lagi cari cara utk bisa jadi ngantuk. nah gw usulin aja ide yg di atas. klo gw sendiri sih, sleeping is not a problem. justru yg jadi masalah gw skrg2 adalah lack of sleep!

mixed, mixed, mixed

gw gak tau, am i supposed to be grateful being involved di tim kerja youth weekend fellowship, ato malah cursing all the way to hell. now i know things i'd rather not know. spt misalnya psgp. gw akhirnya sadar banget, when i was out, i was OUT. capitals. big. yup. out of touch. gak ada yg bother utk update2 gw on everything. anes nikah, i didn't know. psgp pergi ke yogya, i knew. tp keberangkatannya, gw gak tau. damn it. i thought i deserved at least some respect from them. or maybe it was just that fucking fashion designer. hmmm... kyknya gw musti jaga2 jarak ya, spt gak kecewa lagi.

on the other hand, gw seneng dgn tim kerja inti ywf ini. soalnya cukup kompak. pdhl sebagian itu baru gw kenal stlh gw balik lagi ke psgp. misalnya dips & alda. two of the most hard-working, intelligent girls i know in effatha. now i have more friends, dan gak usah terpaku banget sama psgp. perasaan yg sama yg gw dapet wkt gw ikutan jadi tim kerja acara pelatihan pengurus pemuda taon 94 dulu banget itu.

a new toy

gw blm puas ngutak-ngatik kamera canon powershot a95, ehhh dateng lagi pesenan baru gw: sony ericsson k750i. akhirnya gw mutusin utk beli hp dgn kamera built-in! (actually, my first camera phone was se t310, tapi itu khan kameranya model attachment, hehehe) yup, gw udah fed up sama n-gage gw yg udah mulai sering error. dan gw pikir, akhirnya ada hp yg kameranya good enough utk dibawa ke mana2, for candid shots. kebetulan jg a95 itu bulky banget dibanding olympus camedia c310 gw, jadi klo gak perlu2 banget, gw gak usah bawa ke mana, cukup bawa k750i aja.

keunggulan2 k750i dibanding n-gage jelas cukup banyak. mendingan gw ngebahas kekurangan2nya aja. yg pertama, gw udah kebiasa multitasking di n-gage. jadi misalnya gw cek email, gw yakin bakal lama koneknya, jadi gw buka aja browser. multi-task! yg kyk gini gak bisa gw lakuin di k750i. but it doesn't matter sih benernya.

yg kedua, phonebooknya. se udah improve greatly, removing its old, silly limitation of only 510 numbers. now k750i has 500 names, each with its own fields. nah, sayangnya, utk hp, cm terbatas 5 nomor: work, home, mobile, fax, other. ini beda banget sama n-gage (and nokia's other symbian phones), yg bisa nerima custom fields.

apa lagi ya... kyknya sih baru segitu. gw masih maen2in nih. dan already gw udah mikir utk beli memory stick yg gedean *sigh*

mojok

gw lg mojok di gedung pertemuan, soalnya laptop gw ini baterenya udah mo abis. secara gw males pindah ke bawah balkon (tempat colokan biasanya), gw liat2 apa di panggung ada colokan. eh ternyata ada. ya udah, here i am, di balik tirai, gelap2an. hehehe... unik juga. tp yg jelas: gelap banget! keyboard sampe gak kliatan.

claudia alexandra a.k.a sandra a.k.a. al3x4ndr4

claudia alexandra. nama yg cantik. knp gw bisa milih nama itu utk alter-ego gw di irc? claudia. gw selalu suka nama ini. gak ada hubnya sama claudia schiffer, btw. somehow gw ngerasa nama ini cakep banget. alexandra. this one is easy. ini ngambil dari alexander, kata ke-2 di nama lengkap gw. sebenernya, di awal rencana gw, nama lengkap sandra itu adalah: claudia alexandra josephine warouw. oh wow! hahahaha... tp seiring wkt, yg dipake cuma claudia alexandra, or just sandra.

nah. knp gw chat sbg ce? ceritanya gini. gw dulu lebih sering chat di microsoft comic chat. sama dgn irc, tp interfacenya agak unik, krn bentuknya comic strips. di ms cc, gw chat sbg diri gw sendiri. akrab dgn 2 pasang manusia, 1 co 1 ce. i'm ashamed of myself now soalnya gw lupa nama mrk. anyway. kemudian gw akrab dgn imelda, temen gw di bond uni. dia yg ngajak gw utk chat di dalnet. dgn mirc. i thought, ok, nothing to lose. dan masuklah gw ke dalnet. otak sinting gw wkt itu tau2 dapet ide utk masuk sbg ce. mgkn biar gak digosipin ya, kok tau2 si ime bawa2 co ke irc. dan lahirlah claudia alexandra, ato sandra, dgn nick al3x4ndr4. lgs bikin heboh. di channel gado. sementara itu, si sandra jg terkenal sadis thd co. begitu ada co yg ngomongnya ngawur dan nyrempet2 ke arah seks (and there are a lot of people like that in irc, even now), lgs di-nuke sampe diskonek. she was mean! hahaha... i was enjoying myself greatly then. rencana gw saat itu adalah utk pelan2 tampil sbg diri gw yg asli. tapi ada 1 penghalang yg kemudian muncul: sandra diangkat sbg op. uh-oh. trouble. masa stlh diangkat sbg op, ilang dan tau2 muncul co, dgn alamat ip yg sama? gw putusin utk memperpanjang hidup sandra lebih lama lagi. dan makin populer si sandra ini. ime sendiri pernah blg ke gw, klo dia chat dgn sandra, serasa ngomong dgn ce, org yg sama sekali beda, dan bukan lg ngobrol dgn gw. omigod. i was that good at impersonating a girl! hahaha... dan gw bahkan sampe niat utk ngebikin alamat email khusus utk sandra.

things became more complicated. people got attached to sandra. ada 1 co yg bahkan nembak. ridiculous. gimana ceritanya co bisa naksir ce yg dia gak pernah liat. note: sandra itu gak pernah ketauan mukanya kyk gmn. lha ya, gw gak sampe seniat itu utk cari2 foto ce cakep dan ngakuin foto itu sbg foto sandra. dasar co gebleg. haha... pusing jg gw ngadepin org kyk gini. not to mention eneg banget. there i was, chatting, talking to someone who proposed to what he thought was a girl, not knowing that "the girl" was actually a man. hahahaha...

pelan2 gw mulai munculin diri gw yg asli. tentu aja gak bisa bareng, soalnya pasti ketauan, krn ipnya sama. tapi terus muncul script yg bisa spoof ip address. dan gw ngelakuin hal yg cukup mustahil saat itu: muncul sbg sandra dan diri gw sendiri di saat yg bersamaan. damn, intel wasn't thinking about hyper-threading or dual-core yet, but my brain was divided into two already! hahaha... pusing sih jelas. soalnya gaya sandra dan gw itu beda banget. si sandra yg centil, dan gw yg rada serius. ketawanya pun beda. sandra: huhahauahuahuahuhuauhauha ato kekekeke. sementara klo gw ya ketawanya standard: hahahaha ato hehehe... gaya ngomong udah jelas beda. ime sampe ktawa ngakak beneran di depan layar monitornya ngliat org2 tertipu dgn tingkah gw. me, i didn't have the time to laugh. i was concentrating hard! hahahaa...

terus ada penyelamat: liburan semester! nah, gw pikir itu saatnya utk menyingkirkan sandra. stlh kul mulai lagi, sandra tiba2 menghilang. poof. gone. disappeared. sementara gw pelan2 makin sering muncul. ime pun played her part in the drama, blg klo gw dulu chatnya di tempat lain. klo ada yg nanyain sandra, kita blg: wah dia balik indo ktnya, disuruh nikah sama ortu. stories like that lah. until some times, people asked for sandra. tapi akhirnya ilang. dan channelnya sendiri makin lama makin sepi jg.

ada bbrp org yg curiga sih, jelas. who wouldn't?? tp coverupnya lmyn aman. but sandra left something. sampe bbrp wkt lalu, some people actually remembered claudia alexandra. ckckckck... gila ya. but that's irc. you'll never know who you chat with. waspadalah!

tempat sampah

i'm a blessed person. yup, talenta gw cukup banyak. mulai dari nyanyi, cepet adaptasi dgn electronic gadgets, good at languages, etc. tapi ada 1 talenta gw yg benernya bikin gw bingung sendiri: i'm a good trash bin.

not that people stuff me with garbage, no. jgn dibayangin yah! hehehe.. somehow org demen curhat ke gw. dan gw sendiri don't mind dengerin curhat org. gw bahkan seringkali jadi simpathetic dgn org tsb. ini gw baru sadari wkt gw mulai demen irc, taon 98, my first year in gc, oz. wkt itu gw klo online, nyamar jadi ce, dgn nama yg sangat cantik: claudia alexandra. i'll post another blog on why i disguised myself as a girl, in another time, hehehe... nah. si claudia alexandra ini, ato lebih dikenal dgn "sandra", wkt itu terkenal sbg ce yg heboh, supel, lucu, cakep (pdhl si sandra gak pernah nunjukin foto), dan demen dengerin curhat org. co ato ce, meskipun baru kenal, lgs pd curhat. *note to self: i may have a chance to apply for a job at those hotline services...* naturally, karena si sandra tampak sbg ce, lbh byk co yg ngajak ngobrol & curhat. which they did. and sandra, or rather, me, listened.

why sandra listened? krn cukup menarik dengerin cerita2 org. sangat menarik, malah. bukan utk jadi bahan gosip lho (bukan sering2, mksdnya), tp ngebuka wawasan. ternyata banyak banget karakter org, dgn masalahnya masing-masing.

nah, kebiasaan si sandra dengerin curhatan org ini, akhirnya kebawa ke diri gw yg asli. gw jadi demen denger org curhat. bahkan kadang2 gw nawarin diri utk jadi tempat curhat. sampe skrg. tentu aja, gak semua org bisa curhat ke gw. skrg2 ini gw orgnya subyektif banget. cuma org2 yg gw anggap temen baik yg bisa curhat ke gw. salah satu temen baik tsb kasih julukan buat gw: tempat sampah. thanks a lot! hahaha...

ok. there's nothing special being tempat curhat. biasa banget khan, temen loe curhat, loe dengerin. klo temen gw curhat, gw bisa kasih ide ato solusi yg ternyata, beberapa kali, tepat sasaran buat mrk. practical ideas. mgkn krn itulah mrk demen curhat ke gw ya. soalnya gw gak cuma "oic. ya. uh-huh. ok.", tapi gw bisa kasih saran.

dari seluruh curhat2 yg masuk ke gw, sebagian besar, naturally, adalah tentang kehidupan percintaan. things i'd normally classify as BORING. tapi anehnya, gw gak bosen dengerin. knp bisa gak bosen? ngejawabnya gak gampang. meskipun saran/ide/solusi gw seringkali tepat sasaran, strangely enough i can't apply them for myself. ini mgkn situasinya mirip dgn dukun nomor yg gak bisa nebak nomor undian utk dirinya sendiri. my love life sucks. and it has been like that since the very first day i fell in love.

nah, balik lagi ke pertanyaan "knp bisa gak bosen?" jawabannya, mgkn, adalah gw sendiri berusaha mencari solusi yg pas utk diri gw sendiri. dgn tau permasalahan org lain, mgkn ada yg situasinya mirip dgn gw, dan dgn begitu bisa gw coba sendiri. sayangnya sampe saat ini, blm ada situasi yg bener2 sama dgn situasi gw, jadi my love life still sucks. hahaha...

jawaban lainnya, mgkn, i'm a nice person. sebuah pernyataan yg mnrt diri gw sendiri adalah sangat menggelikan. i'm far from being nice. lebih tepat klo dibilang rude ato kasar. i don't greet people unless i have to. i don't look up to my elders. and so many other things i don't do, even though morally i should. but coming from a person who had an alter ego of a girl, i'm just an unpredictable guy. hahaha...

my sweet spot

klo di aksara, gw pasti selalu dapet tempat di kiri pojok. always. gak pernah gak. ya mgkn gw lucky aja ya. hehehe... nah klo di starbucks pasaraya, dlm 3 kali kunjungan terakhir, gw selalu di tempat yg sama jg. always. my sweet spot. hahaha...

how do i live...

gw bukan mo nulis ttg lagunya yearwood ya. hehe... udah ada bbrp org yg nanya gmn rencana gw ttg masa depan. nah, terus terang gw bingung jawabnya. soalnya gw bukan org yg mikir terlalu jauh ke depan. cara gw ngejalanin hidup gw sehari2 adalah dengan nentuin peristiwa penting apa yg bakal terjadi, plg jauh 1 bln di muka. nah, stlh ktemu peristiwa tsb, gw bakal nungguin sampe saatnya tiba. itu yg bikin gw semangat.

kyk misalnya bulan ini, peristiwa yg mnrt gw menarik dan cukup penting adalah acara the youth weekend fellowshipnya gp effatha, tgl 29-30 okt. krn gw jg termsk dlm panitia, scr otomatis gw ikutan ngurusin khan. dan lmyn sibuk.

utk november, ada bbrp acara yg lmyn penting, misalnya at least 2 acara utk klien. dan mgkn jg gw bakal jadi jalan2 ke kl.

desember, pasti natal lah. selaen itu gw blm tau bakal ada acara apa lagi.

nah, dlm perencanaan gw saat ini, peristiwa yg paliiiiiiiing jauh adalah nikahannya rianti. bulan juli taon depan. that's as far as i want to think. gw blm mikir apa2 lagi stlh itu.

jadi, klo ada yg nanya ke gw, misalnya: rencana jangka panjang loe apa? loe pengen karir loe nanti spt apa? kapan loe nikah? blahblahblah. jawabannya adalah: gw gak tau. i live day by day aja. hehehe... that's how i live.

it would be perfect if i'd just...

go to sleep and never to wake up again. hahaha... cape banget nih. bbrp minggu ini adalah minggu2 tersibuk gw. di gereja. di kantor. everywhere! not that i'm complaining... much! hehehe...

in a way, being busy is also keeping me on alert and focused. klo gw lg santai kyk skrg, kerasa banget klo kepala gw tuh sakitnya lmyn ngeselin, dan balance gw lagi jelek banget. gw bisa bangun tiba2 & lgs gelap semua. klo gak konsen, pasti gw lgs jatoh. darah rendah kali yee... gw jg ngerasa lightheaded banget. kleyeng2 gak jelas. perhaps i'm just not fit right now.

reliving the past

damn! i'm having a nostalgic moment now. gw lg buka irc. malem2. sambil muter mp3. situasinya ampir persis banget kyk dulu wkt gw di oz. perbedaanya adalah: i know noone now. hehehehe... now i'm being melancholic....

meaningless post

secara gw lg iseng doank nih, nungguin download kelar, jadi post gw yg 1 ini rada2 meaningless. asal aja.

1. semalem si icha nebak, kira2 gw ini orgnya tipe apa. soalnya dia blg klo dia itu phlegmatik, conya melankolik. ktnya gw mgkn sanguin. what the?!?! i don't even remember what a sanguin is. secara gw penasaran, gw buka wikipedia. dan ini hasilnya:

"Sanguine personality - optimistic, cheerful, even-tempered, confident, rational, popular, fun-loving; the temperament of blood. One of the four humours, the others being choleric, phlegmatic, and melancholic."

gee... ok, i'm usually cheerful. optimist? don't think so. gw mgkn bkn pesimist, tp yg jelas gw jg bkn optimist. confident? yes. rational? sometimes. popular? who am i to say? fun-loving? of course! even-tempered... hmm.. i'm very temperamental, if i may say so myself.

terus gw coba cek yg 3 lagi, choleric (kdengeran kyk penyakit ye?!?!), phlegmatic, dan melancholic. it turned out that ada bagian2 gw di 4 tipe tsb. hmmm.. interesting... that means i can't be typecasted...

2. hari ini gw, ortu, & chelsea ke serpong, ke tempat kakak rona. udah lama jg gw gak ktemu dia, almost a year kyknya. terus kita rame2 makan di japos bsd.

3. gw dpt sms dari marcia, minta gw utk mo jadi panitia natal jemaat effatha, jadi sie pubdok, the same position i'm in for the youth weekend fellowship at the end of this month. what the?! me, stephen warouw the rebel? hahaha... well, gw gak mo back down dari sebuah challenge, so gw setuju aja. who knows, maybe it'll turn out to be fun.

4. blog si icha, yg dihost di modblog, akhirnya up lagi, stlh ampir seminggu ini down. tapi warnanya berubah total. dari item gelap, jadi putih terang. dan dia ngomel2 di shoutboxnya. hehehe.. cha, justru skrg itu jadi sesuai sama namanya: GLOW. alias terang benderang! hahaha... =P

well, that's it. the meaningless post for today. =P

NOW I'M ANGRY!! F**K THE BITCH!!

that was my status on yahoo messenger this afternoon. ya, akhirnya i lost my cool. krn apa? ya sapa lagi klo bukan BAWANG!! pak de also didn't help. ckckck... a couple of stupid, digitally-challenged bosses, who doesn't know what a PCMCIA is, doesn't understand how to create an appointment on microsoft outlook, doesn't know how to organize emails into folders, doesn't understand how to operate mobile phones, and the list goes on... it's amazing they can survive in IT PR for so long... God help indo pacific's IT division...

akhirnyaa...

akhirnya gw ktemu sama si temen gw yg selama ini invisible, icha. hahaha... cha, kok kyknya kita kyk bukan org yg blm pernah ktemu ya?? hahaha... eniwei, lmyn bisa ngobrol2 lgs, ngebahas byk topik pula. sayangnya gak bisa lama2, krn dia ada janji sama temennya & gw musti ke effatha.

omong2 soal effatha, lagi2 gw keburu2 utk kelarin poster youth weekend fellowship. untung gampang, dan gw udah copy semua clipart gw ke komputer ini. dan hasilnya not too bad, mnrt gw. *bangga sendiri*

catatan perjalanan

gw pengen nginget2 lagi perjalanan gw ke bali last weekend, terutama wkt hari sabtu. so here goes:

bangun quite early, jam 9an. soalnya gw kedinginan! airconnya dingin abisss... jadi males2an dulu, terus online deh. stlh itu baru mandi. makan pagi. bengong. atur2 rencana utk hari minggu. makan siang rada telat, sekitar jam 2-2.30. terus lgs cabut ke dreamland. pantai yg penuh org2 bule. tapiii... turun tangga! oh no. gw males mikirin utk naeknya. so i opted to stay behind. it turned out to be the right decision, soalnya temen2 gw wkt naek pd ngeluh capek. hehehehe...

abis itu kita lgs cabut ke discovery mall. i was impressed. mallnya cukup gede. dan di pantainya ada semacam beachwalk, with restaurant. reminded me of st kilda di melbourne. makan di kfc. cabut ke kudeta. tp di tengah jalan, ce2 ganjen pengen belanja. once again, i opted to stay behind. gw ngobrol2 sama driver, pak gunadi. i guess my journalist instinct was at work. gw dpt byk cerita ttg tradisi ngaben, dan apa artinya upacara2 tsb. stlh anak2 balik, kita terus ke kudeta. seblm sampe, guys in the other car called, told us to stop. berhubung sunset udah lewat, kudeta dicancel. kita split, 1 mobil bawa mrk yg pengen belanja, 1 lagi pulang.

secara gw udah janjian sama sepupu2 gw utk ktemu, gw ikutan yg pengen belanja. kita nglewatin jalan yg penuh dgn cafe & shops. di sini jg tempat sariclub & paddy's yg ancur wkt bom bali 2002. lagi2 anak2 turun di sini, dan gw tetap di dlm mobil utk ke discovery. dan lagi2 gw ngobrol cukup byk dgn pak gunadi, kali ini ngebahas ttg bom 2002 dan efeknya buat bali.

sampe di discovery, gw didrop. dan gw ktemu dgn kak alvin & kel, dan kak andre. kita ngobrol2 di pantai, yg beachwalk tadi itu. then i heard the bangs: BOOM! BOOM! they were muffled, but loud enough utk narik perhatian. awalnya gw gak curiga klo itu bom, soalnya, hey, it can happen twice, right? mgkn ada restoran yg kompornya mledak. lagian org2 di discovery msh pada cuek. no signs of panicking whatsoever. tp kemudian my phone started getting busy. calls and smses came in. then i realized something must've gone wrong. kak andre lgs turun utk kontak security, cari info lebih banyak. the smses got more busy. dan gw gak bisa call out, ktnya network busy. it got more serious. kita keluar. jalanan udah macet. org2 centro udah pd berdiri di depan, tangan kiri pegang ht, tangan kanan pegang hp. by this time it was confirmed some bombs exploded.

jalanan macet bukan krn org2 panik, tp krn di sana sini ada roadblocks. kita gak bisa ke mana2. sementara itu, msk sms dari boss, telling us to be on stand by. i didn't reply. more smses came in. beritanya mulai simpang siur. ktnya ada 6 bom lah. more bombs will explode lah. things like that. dan gw msh rada cuek. hey, i'm still standing, i thought. terus kita akhirnya keluar dari mall.

makan di warung somewhere, gw gak tau namanya & tempatnya. di tv udah ada berita soal bom. di sini gw mulai kuatir caranya utk pulang. dan hp gw akhirnya mati, flat batt. untung gw sempet salin sms dari vishnu utk jalan pulang. tempat nginep kita itu di jimbaran. dan 2 bom mledak di 2 tempat di jimbaran. more roadblocks.

kak alvin nganter gw pake motor. dingin, bo! dan secara gw yg gak apal jalanan, jadinya kita sempet muter2. lewat jalanan naik turun. bah. untung akhirnya sampe. my friends were all relieved to see me. terus gw dikasih kabar klo kita udah propose ke boss utk take the stand dan nyiapin media center. oh joy. a holiday turned into a day-to-day routine.

gw lgs ngecharge hp. as predicted, more calls and smses came in. dgn gaya gw yg biasa, gw blg aja klo gw udah mledak, jadi yg bales sms itu arwah gw. hahaha...

setelah mandi dsb, the hectic day & night came to a close. gw tidur kira2 jam 3. dan bangun besoknya jam 6.

and that was it. the bombs sure did ruin everything we planned...

home sweet home

back to jakarta. so damn tired. ya jelas aja cape, kmrn itu hari minggu practically i worked the whole day. itung2 pengalaman pertama di crisis center sih, which was good. tp sebel aja, rencananya liburan, ehhhh malah musti kerja.

but at least i came back in 1 piece.

bali blast

what the hell??? bom! di bali! again??? dan gw lagi di sini! OH MY GOD ALMIGHTY!! i actually heard the blast. thought something was dropped or whatever. well, my pessimist side thought of an explosion, but the optimist one won the day. in the end, it was a blast. two of them, in fact. people died. grrr...

dan secara gw kabar2i kehadiran gw di bali, sms2 lgs byk yg masuk ke hp gw. i'm touched. they're concerned. thanks, people! i love you all...

jalan2 ke bali

pas dgn heboh2nya masalah harga bbm, gw malah ke bali. agak2 gak sensitif ya? hehehe... cuek deh. i can use some holidays like this. =D

ini pertama kalinya gw naek awair. dan pertama kalinya pula gw naek pesawat yg gak pake seat allocation. so bener2 rebutan. siapa cepat, dia dapat. meskipun realitasnya gak seheboh bayangan gw, tetap aja aneh. dan yg bikin gw ketawa adalah pramugarinya yg ngider utk ngitung penumpang pake alat itungan yg klik-klik itu. hahaha... what cracked me up even more was the food. or lack thereof. musti beli! dan spt apa makanannya? well, popmie!! astagaa...

untungnya flight cuma less than 2 hours. kaki gw udah pegel2 banget, soalnya jarak kursi ke kursi bener2 kecil. ckckck...

soooo, here i am. blogging from bali. jangan sirik yah!!

here and there, this and that

kemaren practically gw spent the whole day chatting with her. not exactly productive for my company, eh? hahaha... tapi byk banget info yg gw dapet. sayangnya, bbrp info yg justru sangat penting, isinya gak jelas. dia kyknya gak mo terlalu open ke gw. understandable. secara gw jg benernya udah lost hope. dan klo pun ternyata ada hope, gw gak mo muluk2.

terus gw ngobrol sama icha, my "invisible friend". tp skrg udah gak terlalu invi, soalnya udah bbrp kali gw ngobrol sama dia di telp. kemajuan. hahaha... mnrt dia, jgn2 perasaan happy gw selama seminggu itu disebabkan chatting gw kmrn. interesting idea. tp aneh. masa sih otak gw bisa ngeramal klo gw bakal chatting dgn ce ini, and actually sent happy feeling in advance? hmmm...

in any case, strangely enough she was very talkative yesterday. gw gak mo gr, soalnya gw gak tau gimana perlakuan dia thd co laen. in the end, i'm just glad i have some friends to chat and talk with.

i looooooove my ipod!

dari semua gadget yg gw beli, ipod itu yg plg signifikan gunanya buat gw. bener2 menghibur banget! praktis deh. mgkn krn gw emang gila mp3 ya? dulu aja wkt gw msh pake se t310, gw sampe niat beli mp3 playernya. abis itu gw dapet mp3 creative. semua kepake abis2an. terus gw beli ipaq, kebanyakan gw pake buat mp3 jg. same story with my ngage. tapi gak bener2 bisa puas soalnya limited storage. nah, ipod ini bener2 bisa bikin puas, soalnya gw gak usah repot2 re-encode file2 mp3 gw. dan semua file mp3 koleksi gw dari taon 98 bisa masuk. bayangin!!

dontwanttogetangry

hari ini di yahoo messenger gw pasang status "dontwanttogetangry". rupanya ada bbrp org yg notice dan terus nanya gw, knp gw gak mo marah. simpel aja: i love being happy, perasaan yg ada di gw bbrp hari terakhir. nah, tadi gw dibikin kesel banget sama si BAWANG. dan gw nahan diri spy gak marah. makanya gw gak mo marah. marah itu gak enak. ngeselin. bikin cape doank. hmph.

online!

yeah! gw akhirnya beli pcmcia cdma utk konek ke internet pake mobile 8. dan skrg gw post blog ini pake m8. mantapppppppp....

My mind's smarter than me

(posted by email) Ah. Udah lama ya gw gak post lwt email. Anyway, been thinking about my "strange happiness" i've been having for the last few days. Dan gw msh blm nemu jawaban yg jelas. Tp ada 1 teori yg kyknya cukup msk akal. You see, berita ttg dia (the girl) mo nikah was the first in a series of facts. Fakta2 yg ada konflik dgn gw. Fakta berikutnya adalah dia pengen diberkati that bloody ambon ongirwalu klo dia nikah. It's a big NO for me. So, rather than dikecewain trus2an, gw cukup kecewa sekali aja. Dan krn itu, my mind's been sending me this happy feeling. Happy that i won't have to compromise later. Ini, lg2, br teori. Tp kyknya cukup msk akal.

HUAHAHAHA

wkt on the way ke rumah dipsy, gw dpt sms ini dari icha:
"Heh! gw udh di rmh neh. kynya co gw aga bete jg dg sms2 loe trlbh wkt loe nelp. hahahahaha"

gw lgs ngakak pas bacanya. gila! fyi, icha ini adl temen "invisible" gw, yg udah bbrp kali gw singgung di blog ini recently. now, apparently dia sendiri jg gak mind klo gw sms2. tp ternyata conya cemburu. HUAHAHAHAHAHAHA... please, man, klo gw ada hati sama ce loe, gak bakal gw sms2 doank kali yeee...

but i can understand his concern nih. newly couple gitu loh. kyknya masih meraba2 soal hub mrk nih *sok tau mode is ON*.

then again, gw punya 1 prinsip utama dlm hal ngejar ce, dan prinsip ini selalu gw pegang: gw gak pernah mo ngejar ce yg udah ada pacarnya. puas?? hehehe... krn prinsip ini makanya gw jd bt last weekend. tapi sekali prinsip ya prinsip toh?

anyway, weekend ini kegiatan gw rada sibuk. sabtu, gw ada nyanyi sama psgp di nikahan di effatha. not many turned up, tapi ternyata jemaatnya juga sedikit, jd gpp lah. abis itu gw, reinnesse, dan nancy cabut ke jcc. ke pameran travel. minggu lalu kita & dipsy ada rencana utk liburan either ke kl or sg. dan di pameran travel itu ternyata ada bbrp opsi yang menarik. lgs kita telp dipsy utk ngebahas.

tp sebelom jemput dipsy, kita ke pameran komputer dulu. and how i was glad to be able to buy the targus backpack yg gw incer sejak gw beli laptop ini. di metro ps itu harganya 800rb, dan gw benernya udah siap utk beli di sana, eh ternyata di pameran harganya 500rb. lmyn lah save 300rb.

abis dari pameran, dgn kaki yg pegel2, kita jemput dipsy terus pergi makan utk sekaligus ngebahas rencana jalan2. tadinya dia ada offer yg kyknya cukup menarik. krn dia gak yakin, kita ke rmhnya utk ngebaca email yg isinya offer tsb. tp kyknya emailnya udah diapus, so we'll go with one option from the pameran.

hari minggu, gw ada rapat jam 10 utk rencana psgp ke sg ato bali. bangun pagi di hari minggu... abis itu, jam 12 rapat utk kebaktian padang. salah satu alasan gw msh stay up jam segini adalah utk ngebikin draft poster acara tsb, secara gw ditunjuk utk jadi sie publikasi & dokumentasi. i had a crash course in pagemaker, familiarizing myself with the program. it turned out to be good, but i need to get the others' approval, or ideas.

so here i am, on the fifth day of being happy. oh, just remembered. had a talk with yathi on the phone. kondisi nyokapnya memburuk. she was crying when i called her. and i'm very lousy when i talked to a crying girl on the phone! geez... gw blg aja ke dia spy stay strong. dan kt semua bakal ngedoain dia, pray for the best. the best may not be a "kesembuhan", though. how sad.

i'm happy

gw biasanya jarang hepi. paling2 tuh content. nah, sejak kmrn, gw tuh rasanya hepiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii banget. the thing is, i don't why i'm happy. no idea. zip! if it's about a girl, i don't think so. remember, gw justru bt penuh weekend kmrn gara2 soal ce. if it's about money, hareeeeeeee geeeeneeeeeeee, hepi krn uang?!?! tanggung bulan! if it's about home, huaaa... nothing to be happy about at home. if it's about work, well... selama ada BAWANG di kantor, gw gak bakal pernah bisa hepi. hehehe...

sooo, gak ada sebab yg jelas bagi gw utk hepi! aneh! aneh! aneh! but it's a nice feeling, really. gw udah lupa kapan terakhir gw ngerasa hepi gini. even when i had the crush, i didn't feel like this.

yg gw seneng adalah, dgn feeling happy gini, gw ngapa2in tuh jadi lebih enak. no worries lah. hakuna matata! hahaha... it'd be nice to have this feeling forever.

rumput tetangga tidak selalu lebih hijau

gw seringkali ngeluh ttg kerjaan gw, ngurusin intel. tapi ternyata kerjaan oracle JAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH lebih berat. 3 people on that account, and they still don't get it right. bandingin gw yg bener2 dedicated to intel, with some help (mainly klo gw lg berhalangan) from others, and we're now at a comfort level. (almost) no rush or whatever. (hampir) gak pernah (lagi) dikejar2 klien. now i feel really lucky. rumput tetangga tidak selalu lebih hijau, hehehehe....

zzzzz

here i am, resting at home. how nice! waitaminute... ini khan hari kerja, jd kok gw ada di rmh??? hehehe... i've been working flat out for these couple of weeks, everywhere. kantor & gereja. and eventually my body said to me: "stop! i'm tired! please rest." nah itulah ceritanya knp skrg gw di rmh. on my lovely bed. hmmm...

malam di jakarta

gw seneng jalan2 malem di jakarta. ngeliat suasana yg udah sepi. kesannya damai gitu. jalanan lengang. orang2 udah beres2 dan mulai nyantai. udaranya jg adem. gw baru sadar klo gw seneng jln2 malem tsb dlm perjalanan ke harris hotel. of course, gw msh bisa creep out klo somehow gw trapped di bangunan2 yg udah pd tutup. dan tentu aja, di bbrp daerah, night time means crime time. and that's not cool!

knp gw jd sentimentil gini ye? salah satu sebabnya pasti yesterday's bad news. hmph. tp hari ini gw 2x ktemu si ce tsb. siang tadi wkt rapat gp di effatha. terus malem, wkt psgp nyanyi, lagi2 di effatha. dan dua acara tsb diakhiri makan bareng, dan dua2nya dia ikutan jg. omigod. hehehe... what did i feel? mmm... dunno... felt empty. dulu gw bakal semangat banget, tadi ya msh semangat, tp somehow udah gak se-intense dulu.

and that brings me to this thinking, that i can't trust my feeling. gw selalu terkecoh dgn feeling gw sendiri. always. masalahnya adalah, otak gw biasanya kalah dgn feeling. gw musti shut off nih feeling gw. logic, logic, logic. jadi org vulcan? yaaa... emosi sih selalu ada lah, i can't live without it. tapi klo feeling yg hubnya sama romantis2, i think it should be ignored. hmph. it's been bringing me nothing but pain!

the funny thing is i've been in quite a constant contact with tirza, who calls me "her invisible friend". like so many friends i have from chatting or internet, gw & tirza gak pernah ktemu. kontak cuma lwt email, sms, & yahoo. telp pun gak pernah. nah, kebalikan dgn gw yg lg patah hati, dia lg bingung, soalnya baru ditembak. i gave her some advice, dan kyknya cukup tepat jg buat dia. now here's the funny thing: gw, yg selalu gagal dlm masalah percintaan, giving advice, and they're good advice! ya ampun, talk about not being able to practice what i preach! in turn, gw curhat ke dia ttg masalah gw. and she's been quite successful in lifting my spirits up! hey, thanks, girl! really appreciate it! =D

ada 1 ce laen yg jg cukup makan waktu pemikiran gw, but not romantically. yathi. yg skrg2 gw panggil "cinderella". ibunya lagi sakit di palu, masuk icu. now, usually, klo org msk icu, kondisinya pasti parah banget. i should know, i've been there twice, almost dying. gak tau knp, si yathi kok sepertinya selalu sial. really. blm lama ini hpnya ilang. dan sebelom itu, temennya meninggal. kasian banget. emang sih, klo di psgp gw selalu ngledekin dia. panggilan "cinderella" jg bukan utk muji, tp utk ngledek, hehehe... but we're good friends. gw bisa ngomong macem2 sama dia, apalagi klo soal gp. honestly, gw sedih liat dia selalu kena mslh. dan sakit ibunya ini sptnya her worst case to-date. keep strong, yat, believe in the best He'll give to you and your family. your friends in effatha are all praying for you.

wow. this must be one of my longest blogs so far, not including the joke and muvee announcement.

insomnia strikes again

*sigh* i guess i'm really disappointed. so disappointed in fact, i can't sleep. so here i am, 3h30 in the morning, typing blog. and in less than 9 hours, i must go to effatha for a meeting. then go again at 5h30 to sing. and after that, go to harris hotel to meet chorie to prepare for monday's event. well, who knows when i get busy, i can forget my disappointment. but i'll be a zombie for the day, because of this lack of sleep. hmph.

SAYA KESALLLLLLL!!!!

hari jumat kmrn turned out to be one of the worst days in my life. rencananya rapat acara psgp di kfc bulungan. cuma 4 org yg dateng, termsk gw. that was bad. i could use the time for something else, namely, resting. untungnya brains from those 4 persons could work and we made some decisions. tapi itu bkn hal yg gawat, gw udah tau lah anak2 effatha itu emang disiplinnya ancur banget.

yg bikin gw kesel adalah berita bhw ce yg gw lg taksir itu udah ada rencana utk married. !&%&%!@(*%!%@(!)_! why oh why. dan hari ini stlh gw sms2an sama dia, i kinda got a confirmation from her that indeed, she's being involved with someone. hmph. oh well. at least that was better than a rejection. tapi tetap aja SAYA KESALLLLLLL!!!!

If Then Else

surat berantai. it's everywhere. dulu, ya pake pos. some people were actually really, really scared when they received it, they did what was told, almost instantly. gw mgkn bakal ngelakuin hal yg sama sih, honestly.

terus email mulai populer. logically, surat berantai muncul juga lewat email. ada hoax virus. ada email2 aneh lain2nya. dan skrg, surat berantai malah bisa otomatis "merantaikan" *istilah apa tuh ye?!?!* dirinya sendiri, alias email yg isinya worm2 itu. hebat.

next, sms. it started to piss me off. klo gw gak fwd isi smsnya (yg biasanya religius), gw bakal ketiban sial, friends will go away, romance will not happen, etc etc... GEEZ!!

dan skrg, surat berantai muncul di bulletin board friendster! isinya ya sama aja. ancaman2, klo kita gak terusin post. dan berkat2, klo kita post.

now, seharusnya utk email & bb fs, it's almost effortless ya, tinggal klik forward, ato copy post. but that's not the problem. if i want to fwd something over email or bb, i'd do that. tapi gw gak demen klo pake diancem2. hey, what can a bunch of text do? put a spell on me? come on, people. you don't actually believe you'll be liked by new people a couple of days after you hit that forward button. not if you don't change your attitude or behaviour. on the other hand, if you're well-liked already, you don't need to send anything over the internet to get new friends, do you?

it's just common sense lah. save your time, save my time, save our time. cut the bullshit, stop wasting bandwidth and space.

this is fun!!

INSTANTLY CREATE COOL, STYLISH VIDEOS LIKE A PRO

Intel and muvee Kick Off Asian "Click, Style, Show" Digital Video Contest

JAKARTA, September 5, 2005 - Unleash your creativity and join in the fun. Intel and muvee Technologies, a pioneer and global leader in Instant Personal Video, invite home video and photo enthusiasts to put their talent on show by signing up for the "Click, Style, Show" digital video contest. Participants are invited to transform their raw digital video footage and pictures into cool, edited productions using muvee autoProducer software, then show off their masterpieces to compete for the title of Most Creative and Fun Video.

The online contest kicks off on September 5 and will run for five weeks until October 9. Eligible residents of Australia, China, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Malaysia, Pakistan, the Philippines, Singapore and Taiwan are encouraged to get online and experience how fast, easy and fun video styling can be.

Entrants will get a free, full-featured 30-day trial download of muvee autoProducer software, which they must then use to style their raw footage into fun music video clips not exceeding 60 seconds in duration. Each week, a maximum of six clips from each region will be shortlisted and showcased online for public voting. The public's top picks will then be automatically entered into a Grand Showcase, where a final round of public voting will be held to determine a Grand Prize winner from each region. The Grand Prize winner from each region will receive a PC system equipped with the latest Intel dual-core Pentium D processor coupled with Intel 945 Express chipset, enabling impressive multimedia capabilities and new user computing experiences to take their entertainment savvy to the next level at home.

"Turning your videos and pictures into slick productions can be fast, easy and fun," said Philip Morgan, Chief Operating Officer of muvee Technologies. "More and more people everywhere are shooting home videos and taking digital pictures. muvee autoProducer offers these folks a very simple and effective way of creating compelling content that they'll be proud to share with others. We make working with digital media easy and fun so that the results will make any user go 'wow'."

"We are pleased to be collaborating with muvee on the 'Click, Style, Show' digital video Contest," said Marta Debellis, Digital Home Brand Manager, Intel Asia Pacific's Branding and Promotions Marketing Group. "Consumers want to have a fun, pleasant and easy digital media experience on their PC. Intel is working with industry players - across hardware, technologies, initiatives and software, to develop and deliver the technology platforms required to help people unleash their natural talents in new, easy and exciting ways."

HOW TO PARTICIPATE
Entrants are to submit their entries via the contest website, click.muvee.com. Every week, from Tuesday to Sunday beginning September 13 to October 9, a maximum of six stellar clips from each of the nine regions will be shortlisted and showcased on the contest's website for the public to vote for a Clip of the Week winner. Winning clips will then be automatically entered to compete for the Grand Prize. A special souvenir from Intel and muvee will be awarded to Clip of the Week winners. Time is short so join in now! Public voting for the Grand Prize Winner is to be held during the week of October 10 through October 16, 2005.

The "Click, Style, Show" digital video Contest is open to residents of the following regions: Australia, the People's Republic of China, Hong Kong SAR, Indonesia, Malaysia, Pakistan, Singapore and Taiwan who are aged 18 and above. Entry is free of charge. Entries are to be submitted through the "Click, Style, Show" website. Entry submission closes at midnight Hong Kong Time on October 2; the contest ends at midnight Hong Kong time on October 9, 2005. The Grand Prize winner from each of the regions is to be announced during the week of October 17, 2005.

For more information and complete contest rules, please visit http://click.muvee.com.

walking dead for the day

spt yg gw tulis di post gw sebelom ini, gw baru tidur jam 5. dan jam 10 udah musti bangun lagi buat ke rumah tante epi utk makan2, ktemu tante josie. aarggghhh... having to get up so early... inhuman! so there i was, looking like a walking dead... not really sih, actually. good food, good talks. tapi panas banget! i was sweating like crazy! huh. menyebalkan.

nah skrg ini mustinya adem, soalnya abis ujan, dan mendung2 gitu, byk angin pula. but strangely, i'm sweating. hmmm... hmmm....

anyway, my "online" friend icha wrote on her blog (check out my list on the left to see her blog) about me being her "invisible friend". interesting. knp dibilang invisible? soalnya kita blm pernah ktemu. not only that, denger suara masing2 aja blm pernah. cm kontak2 lwt sms & ym. oh, the beauty of technology. katanya teknologi bisa bikin org jadi asosial? kyknya gak deh. malah jadi lebih gampang utk berkomunikasi, mnrt gw.

efek kafein

sabtu kmrn, jadwal gw lmyn full. sebelom lunch udah musti cabut ke gki pi, utk nikahan oom iwan. pake acara amplop nyelip pula, nyaris melayang tuh 100rb, hehehe... terus jam 4 gw udah musti ke effatha utk rapat psgp. secara jam 2 gw udah sampe blok m, gw beli majalah dulu di pasaraya, terus nongkrong di starbuck. frappucino mocha. 1 itungan. terus jam 4 gw cabut ke eff. spt biasa, ngaret. baru melanie yg ada. rapat baru mulai ampir jam 5. sampe jam 7. abis itu gw cabut ke le petit paris. pesen coffee float. 2 itungan. itu jg gw yg plg pertama sampe. grrrrrr.... makan, ngobrol, becanda2, minum gw abis. pesen coffee float lagi. 3 itungan. abis itu bubaran, terus gw plg bareng grace.

efek dari 3 itungan tadi adalah: SEKARANG UDAH JAM 4 DAN GW MASIH MELEK!!!!! gilaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Joke of the week

(posted by email) Secara gw lg males nulis2 blog, mending gw isi sama lawakan aja deh yee... Hehehe...

Alkisah di sebuah perusahaan besar di kawasan Keprabon, tengah melakukan beberapa tes wawancara untuk "*tidak*" menerima calon karyawan baru, tentu saja salah satu prasyaratnya adalah harus berbahasa EJD (Ejaan Jawa yg nDaksempurna).. Bagi yang tidak memahaminya nggih nyuwun sewu ... Boso Jawi ...Meniko

G : Kowe nduwe omah opo ora.....? kamu sudah punya rumah atau belum?
A : dereng.... belum.....
G : Wah kowe ora iso ketompo nang kene wah..kamu ndak bisa ketrima di sini
a : Lho kok ngaten........? lho kok begitu...???
G : Mengko kowe mesthi ngajukne utang nang perusahaan. Nanti kamu pasti ngajuin utang ke perusahaan...
a : Ah.. mboten kok, Sak janipun tiyang sepuh kulo niku sampun sugih. ah...ndak kok, sebenernya orang tua saya sudah kaya raya....
G : Yo malah ora ketompo .....ooo malah ndak ketrima...
a : Lho kok ngaten.....? lho kok begitu....?
G : Mengko kowe kerjo mung nggo hiburan, nongkrang nongkrong ae. Nanti kamu kerja cuman buat hiburan, cuman nongkrang-nongkrok thok... #@*!

G : Kowe nduwe motor opo ora....? Kamu punya motor ndak...?
b : Mboten. ....tidak punya....
G : Ora ketompo ....Tidak diterima.....
b : Lho kok mboten ketompo ? ....lho kok ndak ketrima...???
G : Mengko kowe mesthi njaluk bantuan kredit. ...Nanti kamu pasti minta bantuan kredit...
b : Sak janipun gadhah, ning tasih ten kampung, gampil mangke kulo beto ngriki. ... Sebenernya punya, cuman masih di kampung, gampang nanti saya bawa ke sini...
G : Wah malah ra ketompo.... Wah....malah ndak diterima...
b : lho kok ngoten .........lho kok begitu..???
G : Tempat parkire wis ra cukup. Tempat parkirnya udah penuh.....

G : Kowe wis lulus sarjana tenan.....? Bener kamu udah lulus sarjana?
c : sampun pak.... Sudah, Pak....
G : Ora ketompo, kene iki golek sing SMA ae, luwih manutan lan ben mbayaremurah gak diterima, di sini cari yang cuman lulusan SMA aja, lebih nurut dan biar bayarnya murah....
c : Sak janipun kulo tasih badhe skripsi sebenernya saya masih belum kelar skripsi...
G : Malah ora ketompo..... lebih ndak diterima...
c : Lho kados pundi to....? lha gimana sih......?
G : Mengko kowe kerjo mung ngetik skripsi, lek wis lulus mesti golek kerjo neng perusahaan liyo. Nanti kamu kerja cuman ngetik skripsi, dan nanti kalo udah lulus pasti nyari kerja di tempat laen.........

G : Kowe seneng guyon opo ora ? Kamu suka becanda nggak?
d : Mboten pak, kulo serius nek nyambut gawe. Tidak, Pak. Saya serius kalo kerja.
G : Ra ketompo..... Tidak diterima....
d : waa......kok ngoten? waa....kok gitu?
G : Engko konco koncomu lan anak buahmu podho stress. Nanti temen-temenmu dan anak buahmu pada stress..
d : Sak jane nggih sekedhik sekedhik seneng guyon. Sebenernya ya, sedikit-sedikit suka becanda....
G: Malah ora ketompo. Malah ndak diterima....
d : Lho kok...... lho kok..??
G: Engko kowe mung email emailan sing lucu....... Nanti kamu cuman e-mail-emailan yang lucu...

G : Kowe mau mrene numpak opo ? Tadi dateng ke sini naek apa?
e : Nitih mobil ... Naik mobil...
G : Kowe ora ketompo Kamu ndak diterima...
e : Sebabipun ? sebabnya ?
G : Saiki BBM mundhak terus, mengko kowe njaluk mundhak bayar terus Sekarang BBM naik terus, nanti kamu minta naek gaji terus..
e : Wo, kulo wau namung mbonceng, kok .... Wo.. tadi saya cuman ngikut temen, kok...
G : Tambah ora ketompo makin ndak diterima...
e : Lho, lha kok ... ? Lho, lha kok...?
G : Mengko mung gawene mbonceng mobil kantor. Ngrusuhi ! Nanti cuman bisanya ngikut mobil kantor.... Ngerepotin!

G : Anakmu akeh opo sithik ? Anakmu banyak apa sedikit?
f : Kathah pak banyak, Pak...
G : Kowe ora ketompo Kamu ndak diterima..
f : Sebabipun ? Sebabnya..?
G : Nyambut gawemu ora jenjem, mung mikir gawe uanaaaaaak terus Kamu kerja ndak konsen, cuman mikirin bikin anak meluluu.....
f : Lha wong namung anak adopsi, kok. Lha wong cuman anak adopsi, kok...
G : Tambah ora ketompo Makin ndak diterima....
f : Lho, lha kok ... ? Lho, lha kok...?
G : Gawe anak bae aras2en, opo maneh nyambut gawe Bikin anak aja males, apalagi kerja.....

G : Kowe wis ngerti gaweyanmu durung ? Kamu dah tahu kerjaanmu belum?
h : Dereng Belum
G : Kowe ora ketompo Kamu ndak diterima
h : Sebabipun ? Sebabnya
G : Arep nyambut gawe kok ora ngerti gaweyane ? Mau kerja kok ndak tahu kerjaannya...
h : Oo, nek damelan niku mpun ngertos kok Ooo...kalo kerjaan itu sudah tahu kok...
G : Tambah ora ketompo Makin ndak diterima...
h : Lho, lha kok ... ?
G : Kowe rak mung arep keminter, to ? Kamu kan cuman mau sok tahu..kan???

G : Kowe ngerti kahanan kantor kene durung Kamu tahu keadaan kantor ini belum?
k : Dereng Belum
G : Kowe ora ketompo Gak diterima
k : Sebabipun ? Sebabnya..?
G : Arep nyambut gawe kok ora ngerti kantore ? Mau kerja kok ndak tahu kantornya?
k : Wo, sekedhik2 mpun ngertos kok Wah... sedikit-sedikit sudah tahu kok.....
G : Tambah ora ketompo Makin ndak diterima
k : Lho, lha kok ... ? Lho...???
G : Kowe senengane ngudhal-udhal wewadi kantor, to ? Kamu senengnya ngubek-ubek gosip kantor kan?

G : Kowe kerep loro ? Kamu sering sakit?
m : Mboten Tidak
G : Kowe ora ketompo kamu ndak diterima
m : Sebabipun ? Sebabnya?
G : Mesthi kerep mbolos, wong arang2 gering Pasti bakal sering bolos, lha wong jarang sakit...
m : Wah, sakjanipun nggih asring Ya..sebenernya ya sering...
G : Tambah ora ketompo Makin ndak diterima....
m : Lho, lha kok ... ? Lho..?
G : Kantor iki ora nompo karyawan pileren di sini ndak mempekerjakan karyawan penyakitan....

G : Kowe biso main Internet ? Kamu bisa pake internet?
n : mBoten Ndak bisa
G : Kowe ora ketompo Kamu ndak diterima
n : Sebabipun ? Sebabnya
G : Perusahaan ora nompo BI (Buta Internet) Di sini ndak nerima orang BI
n : Wah, sakjanipun nggih saged Wah...sebenernya sih bisa..
G : Tambah ora ketompo Makin ndak diterima
n : Lho, lha kok ... ? Lho..?
G : Mesthi ora bakal nyambut gawe, kakehan dolanan Internet, to? Ngenték-entekké pulsa ! Pasti bakalan ndak kerja, kebanyakan pake internet, kan? ngabisin pulsa!!!!

G : Kowe waras opo ora? Kamu waras apa tidak ?
o : Lha, kulo nggih waras to Pak. Lha, saya ya waras dong, Pak....
G : Ra ketompo....... Tidak diterima...
o : Kenging nopo .....? Kenapa?
G : Mengko kowe mesthi ora krasan neng kene. Nanti kamu pasti ndak krasan di sini....
o : Niku rumiyin Pak, sakmeniko sampun rodo edan. Itu dulu, Pak.... sekarang sih sudah rada gila...
G : Malah ra ketompo...... Makin ndak diterima...
o : Pripun to niki....? Wah..gimana sih?
G : Mengko aku duwe saingan.......... Nanti aku punya saingan.....

Oh happy day...

(posted by email) Gw td udah capek banget di ktr. Jam 7 lwt, gw putusin utk ke effatha aja, biarpun udah telat. Sampe di sana jam 8 kurang dikit. Pelatihnya bung rensi. Tp lagunya on eagle's wings. Lgs males deh. Gw duduk aja di pinggir, sambil ikut2 dikit. Krn ngrasa gak enak, gw pindah ke depan utk lat. Eh tau2 hp gw bunyi. Kirain utk urusan intel. Ternyata dr dipsy, minta ditemenin di luar. Secara gw emang lg gak niat lat, ya gw lgs kluar aja. Hehehe...

We talked and talked. Some similarities here and there. Saling curhat lah, istilahnya. It was good. Gak sia2 gw ke eff, jd bs ngalihin pikiran gw dr kerjaan. Dan ada 1 hal yg dia kinda revealed yg bikin gw seneng.

All in all, a tiring day, but i got to end it with a happy note.

lagu yg ngeselin

gw heran, paduan suara itu khan ada empat suara: sopran, alto, tenor, bas. so why the hell would we sing a song with only 2 voices?!?!?! judul lagunya: On Eagle's Wing. gak enak banget lagunya. biasanya gw awal2 klo baru belajar lagu ya sebel2 gitu, but over time, lama2 bisa enjoy. nah itu gak berlaku utk lagu ini, sampe tadi udah kelar lat gw msh sebel. udah lagunya gak enak, ehhh cuma 2 suara. gak menantang banget deh. denger2 sih lagunya jadi cadangan in case ada suara yg gak ada, misalnya tau2 tenor gak ada yg bs nyanyi gitu. tapi tetap aja, gw gak suka lagunya.

tp kekesalan gw rada terobati soalnya tadi sempet ngobrol2. sayangnya, byk bener gangguan selama obrolan yg singkat itu. huh!

oh well. it's been a long and busy day. gw udah pny bbrp AR (action required), ato tugas yg musti gw kerjain bsk. definite tasks/actions. brrr...

2nd reportage from aksara

walah. gw kira notebook gw tuh udah cukup gede. ternyata, dtg ce, petite, thin, dan dari tasnya keluarlah sebuah notebook dgn layar 17 inci! hahahaha... boy, do i feel small right now.

aksara's not fun any longer

secara gw nanti sore mo ke effatha, dan ortu mo pergi kluar, gw pikir mendingan gw nongkrong di aksara aja, terus nanti lgs cabut ke eff. dan skrg gw "terdampar" di sini. to tell the truth, it's no longer fun. not when i'm alone. gw blg "creepy". tp amel blg "itu bukan creepy, tp melankolis". yeah, whatever. yg jelas aneh aja deh. tp ya yg jelas di sini sangat berguna utk update2 whatever apps, terus jg dl2 whatever.

Pelayanan Kasih PSGP 2005 re-visited

gw akhirnya dapet foto2 acara pelayanan kasih psgp 17 agustus kmrn dari era/ramses. wow, they bring back some memories. they make me smile, laugh, but sad at the same time. i did look like enjoying myself back then. kecuali di bbrp foto terakhir, gw udah kliatan cape. interestingly, gak ada 1 foto pun yg show me looking at the camera. yup, i don't like to pose currently. ok, back to the topic. mnrt gw acaranya cukup sukses. anak2 kliatan seneng, dan mksg gw bkn cuma anak2 bakti luhur, tp jg anak2 psgp. hehehe... acaranya cukup bagus utk ngumpulin mrk2 yg gak cukup aktif (that includes me as well). dan ngebuktiin klo anak2 psgp gak cuma pinter nyanyi, tapi juga bisa ngelakuin sesuatu yg nyata, utk ngebantu org2 laen. gw gak tau klo msh ada yg ngerasa gak puas ato gak cukup, but for starter, i'd say we did good. yeah, we did good.

next big agenda for psgp: acara rekreasi. acara ini udah disinggung sama reinnesse, katanya ada undangan ke singapore. wow, interesting! dan sabtu ini rencananya ada rapat utk ngomongin acara tsb. i'm invited. i guess they want me in as a panitia or something like that. to tell the truth, i'm excited. now, compared to pelayanan kasih, i'd say acara rekreasi ini a bit selfish, soalnya murni utk jalan2. nah, gw ngerasa kok kyknya bakal ada resistance dari segelintir org. biasa, org2 sirik. kyk wkt dulu aja taon 2003 ke lembang. tp klo psgp ngerasa we deserve a break, why not? but i don't have the detailed brief for now, jadi mendingan nanti gw denger dulu aja rencananya kyk apa. at least i'll have something to do this weekend lah.

are we ready?

still on the subject "iyank', ada posting di blognya yg mnrt gw sangat, sangat, sangat touching. ini apparently bukan iyank sendiri yg nulis, tp org laen, dan dipost oleh iyank. i took the liberty of copying and pasting the post here. i shed a tear or two wkt baca post ini. dan perkataan2nya bener2 "dalem".


http://iyankonly.blogs.friendster.com/iyanks_blog/


Bandung, Sabtu, 20 Agustus 2005

Pertama kali gua merasa dekat dengan Edo,
lewat tatapan matanya, lewat mimiknya,
ewat sambutannya yang tak terucap, di sela-sela usahanya
untuk bernafas, dia tetap menyambut hangat orang yang menjenguknya.

Entah kenapa, gua langsung menyesal gak mengenalnya dekat selama ini.
Sejak saat itu namanya selalu ada dalam doa gua dan Andy,
kami berdoa untuk kesembuhannya
dan untuk kesempatan untuk bisa lebih dekat.

Jakarta, Kamis, 25 Agustus 2005 malam Iyank telepon bilang kalo
Edo udah gak ada, kita yang di rumah menangis.
Biasanya setiap gua mendengar orang meninggal, gua langsung
berdoa, "Tuhan, terima dia di sisiMu".

Tapi malam itu doa gua "Tuhan,
Tuhan bisa menghidupkan orang mati kan?
Beri kami mujizat, ijinkan Edo hidup lagi"
Itu doa gua, gak tau kenapa. Malam itu dalam perjalanan ke
Bandung gua tetap berdoa agar Edo hidup.

Di Cikampek, Iyank dapet kabar kalo Edo stabil lagi, dia kembali.
Ini pertama kalinya dalam perjalanan akhirnya dia drop.
Sampai Bandung, terlihat sekali Edo berjuang mengatasi sakitnya,
tetap menyambut orang yang datang dengan caranya.

Bandung , Jumat, 26 Agustus 2005 pk.08.00
Edo drop lagi untuk yang kedua kali.
kita yang ada di samping tempat
tidurnya gak henti-hentinya berdoa dan bernyanyi,
tiba-tiba dia stabil lagi,
dan seolah ingin memberitahu semua orang "ini, aku ada"
dengan mencoba membuka matanya.

Jumat siang, Edo dipindahkan ke RS. Barromeus.
Secercah harapan baru karena alat-alatnya lebih canggih
dan jumat sore Edo dioperasi, lehernya
dibolongin untuk membantunya bernafas.

Jumat pk. 17.30 Edo drop lagi untuk ketiga kalinya.
1 jam dokter dan suster berusaha memompa jantungnya.
Kehendak Tuhan terlaksana : “Edo pulang ke rumah Bapa.”

Gua gak tau apa yang harus gua ucapkan,
karena selama 20 jam bergumul
dalam doa sejak kamis malam mendengar Edo
gak ada, doa yang gw ucapkan selalu,
"Tuhan, sembuhkan Edo, beri mujizatMu."
Pertama kalinya dalam hidup gua merasa doa gua dijawab Tuhan
dengan "tidak". Gua marah sama Tuhan.
Kenapa Tuhan gak beri gua kesempatan mengenal
Edo lebih dekat.

Tapi setelah sabtu gua di rumah, gua menangis sambil merenung,
gua temukan jawabnya :
Biasanya setiap gua berdoa gua selalu mengakhiri
permohonan gua dengan
"tapi Tuhan, bukan kehendakku yang terjadi, melainkan kehendakMu."
Tapi sejak gua berdoa untuk Edo, gua gak pernah ucapkan kalimat itu,
gua memaksa Tuhan untuk melaksanakan kehendak gua,
biar Edo sembuh, masih bisa dekat keluarganya dan Iyank,
dan gua bisa mengenal dia. Gua sadar,
ketika kita tidak berserah pada kehendak Tuhan, rasa frustasi
karena gagal menjadi penghancur terbesar dalam hidup kita.

Puji Tuhan, DIA segera menyadarkan gua,
ditambah lagi dengan kesaksian mamanya Edo
yang sama dengan yang gua alami, dan mamanya Edo
terang-terangan meminta ampun
kepada Tuhan karena tidak berserah,
karena memaksakan mujizat datang.

Padahal apa sih mujizat itu? Hanya kesembuhan? Ternyata bukan.
Kelahiran dan kematian ternyata bagian dari mujizat Tuhan. Gua pernah
nonton video kedokteran ttg terjadinya anak, sungguh ajaib, kalo bukan
tangan Tuhan yang bekerja gak akan pernah ada seorang bayi lahir.
Kayak gua dan mbak Budi, sesering apapun kita melakukan usaha, kalau
Tuhan belum bilang "ya" pembuahan gak akan pernah terjadi, walaupun
seluruh teori kedokteran sudah dipakai.

Begitu juga kematian.
Usus, ati, jantung, paru-paru, semua yang ada di dalam tubuh bisa
dikeluarkan dari tubuh manusia, tapi roh, bagaimana cari
mengeluarkannya? Gak ada yang bisa, kecuali Tuhan.
Jadi sebenarnya Tuhan menjawab doa gua ya?
Saat terakhir Edo drop, seluruh teman-teman gerejanya berdoa bergandeng
tangan, karena gua duduknya jauh, gua hanya menggandeng tangan Andy
sambil bernyanyi "curahkanlah kuasaMu Tuhan, mujizat terjadi di tempat
ini, curahkanlah kuasaMu Tuhan, mujizat terjadi sekarang ini".
Tuhan menjawab, mujizat itu terjadi, kesembuhan datang bersama kematian
tubuh. Edo pulang ke rumah Bapa.

Iyank menangis, itu manusiawi. Jangankan dia, gua pun menangis, semua
menangis. Iyank bilang banyak yang keinginan Edo yang belum terwujud.
Gua pun sedih berpikir demikian.
Tapi terus gua inget cerita tentang kematian Musa (Ul.34).
Udah 40 th (bener ya 40 th?) Musa memimpin bangsa Israel menuju tanah
terjanji. Cape-cape dia berjuang mengatasi segala rintangan, tapi apa
dia sampai ke tanah terjanji?
Gak. Ketika sudah hampir sampai, ketika tanah terjanji sudah terlihat dari
jauh, Tuhan bilang "Inilah negeri yang kujanjikan dengan
sumpah kepada Abraham, Ishak dan Yakub;
dengan demikian : Kepada keturunanMulah akan kuberikan
negeri ini. Aku mengijinkan engkau melihatnya dengan matamu sendiri,
tetapi engkau tidak akan menyeberang ke sana" (Ul. 34:4)
Dari awal Musa gak tau kalo dia hanya akan sampai di situ, hanya boleh
memandang negeri terjanji itu. Tapi dia gak marah sama Tuhan dengan
bilang "ah Tuhan sih gak bilang, kalo tau cuma sampe sini mah aku gak
mau cape-cape berjuang". Tapi dia menurut kehendak Tuhan.
Musa mati bukan karena sakit, walau umurnya 120th, tapi masih sehat,
masih segar bugar, tapi Tuhan mau dia pulang karena tugasnya sudah
selesai. Sebelum mati Tuhan menuntun Musa untuk memilih penggantinya,
Yosua. Dia tumpangkan tangan ke Yosua sebagai berkat bahwa
Yosua akan menjadi penerusnya.
Gua jadi berpikir, pasti Edo saat itu juga tumpang tangan ke orang yang
belum kita tahu sekarang untuk menggantikan tugasnya menjaga mamanya,
menjaga ka ute, menjaga mazda, menjaga iyank, calon suami ka ute, calon
suami mazda (mungkin icong), dan calon suami iyank.
Kita aja yang belum bisa melihatnya sekarang.

Tugas Musa selesai sampai di gerbang kota terjanji. Mungkin secara
manusiawi kita bilang, "kasihan amat, cape-cape berjuang gak boleh ikut
masuk" Tapi itulah orang-orang yang upahnya besar di surga. Dia rela
mengesampingkan keinginan duniawinya yang mungkin masih banyak, untuk
menanggapi panggilan Allah, "pulang ke KerajaanNya", karena di
sana pasti lebih indah dari keinginan-keinginan kita di dunia.

Gak cuma panggilan untuk pulang aja sebenarnya, keinginan ketika kita
masih hidup juga, kalo kita berani mengesampingkan keinginan kita untuk
menyenangkan hati Tuhan, pasti upah kita besar di surga nantinya.

Bapak juga sempet bilang, "kasihan, masih muda udah gak ada". Gua
pikir-pikir, bukannya yang kasihan kita? Edo umur 29th sudah selesai
mengerjakan semua PR yang Tuhan beri. Sedangkan kita, PR kita masih
teramat banyak, mungkin kita yang kasihan, karena bebal, gak selesai-
selesai mengerjakan PR dari Tuhan.

Minggu lalu ketika Edo tersenyum dibalik masker oksigennya, tiba-tiba
dia mengisi hati gua dengan sebuah kebaikan. Gua sadar, gua sering gak
ramah sama orang, Tapi setelah hari itu, gua mau mencoba
ramah sama siapa pun. Ketika gua bertemu dengan orang
yang biasanya gua enggan untuk bertegur sapa,
mulai saat itu, gua tegur dengan rapah (dan tulus juga lho, gak basa-basi).
Dan gua merasa Tuhan Yesus dan edo di sana bilang
"ya, begitu nda, bagus."

Edo tuh bener-bener kaya para nabi, seperti Musa dan juga Ayub yang
sakit tapi ketika dibujuk untuk meninggalkan Tuhan di gak mau, dia tetap
setia pada Tuhan ditengah sakitnya (Ayub 2:1-10)

Kata Andy, kepergian Edo bener-bener jadi pelajaran berharga bagi kita.
Siap gak kita seperti Edo saat nanti Tuhan memanggil kita.
Edo pergi bener-bener siap. 3 minggu di rumah sakit, pasti menjadikan
dia lebih dekat dengan keluarga dan Tuhan.
Dia bener-bener sudah berdamai dengan
keluarga dan Tuhan ketika berangkat ke surga.
Siap gak kita kayak dia, kalau-kalau kita secara mendadak dipanggil?

Melihat saat-saat terakhir hidup Edo, gua seperti melihat perjalanan
salib Tuhan Yesus. Ditengah kesakitannya dia tetap sadar. Baru kali ini
gua melihat orang separah Edo tapi tetap sadar dan pikirannya tetap
sehat, terus mendekati saatnya dia bilang "aku haus"
Sebelum pergi pun dia drop 3 kali.
Akhirnya dia pulang, diusia muda, sama seperti Tuhan (muda Edo 4 th).
Hari dia pulang itu hari Jumat, sama seperti kepergian Tuhan.
Dikuburkan hari Minggu, saat yang sama juga dengan kebangkitan Tuhan.
Dan gua percaya saat jasadnya tertanam, rohnya diangkat Tuhan ke surga.

Dan saat penguburannya indah banget, Roh Kudus datang dalam rupa angin
pada moment-moment tertentu upacara pemakamannya.

Kepergian edo juga mengingatkan gua bahwa bila umur gua lebih panjang,
gua akan kehilangan 10 org yang gua kasihi, Andy, bapak, ibu, mbak
anjar, mbak budi, iyank, bang Janri, mas edi, ryssa, ryan.
Edo mempersiapkan gua untuk itu.

Saat gua atau kalian mati pun, apakah nanti kita sudah punya cukup
waktu bersama?

Gua selalu ingin dekat sama kalian semua. Gua ingin kita menjadi lebih
baik, biar Tuhan Yesus dan Edo di sana tersenyum dan bilang "ya, bagus,
begitu terus, berjuang terus agar kita semua berkumpul kembali di
kerajaan Allah"

Gua sayang kalian semua.
Terima kasih Malaikat Edo.

Posted by 'Iyank' JustAGirl