Thursday, May 31, 2007

Today's birthday

31 Mei:

- Melanie Daisy

Happy birthday!!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Today's birthday

26 Mei:

- Donny Simply
- Restituta Ajeng Arijanti

Happy birthday!!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

monday oh monday

i took a leave yesterday, so for me it was a 5-days holiday, hahahaha...

so, ngapain aja gw kmrn? bangun siang. trus ngajarin mama pake hp bentar. abis itu mandi, trus cabut ke dharmawangsa. erita dateng jam 12 lewat gitu deh. trus kita makan & ngobrol sampe jam 2. topik obrolannya banyak banget, tp pada dasarnya gw update dia mengenai berita2 (alias gosip) di effatha. makannya jg gak tll banyak. terus terang aja, gw kmrn gak tll nafsu utk makan sih.

ngebahas macem2, sampe muncul itu utk coba burger king. ha! di depan kita msh ada bbrp sushi, tp udah mikir utk makan burger. hahahahaha...

abis itu kita ke pasaraya dulu, ktnya dia mo cari sepatu-sendal gitu deh. tp udah muter2, ada bbrp yg dicoba, tp gak pas. ya udah, lgs cabut ke senayan city. berhubung msh rada kenyang, kita gak lgs ke burger king, tp muter2 dulu. dia beli kaset, trus kita liat2 barang2 elektronik, homewares. pegel nih, jadi ke burger king deh.

it was as expected ya, the magnificent burgers of bk. wowwwww... paketnya jg lmyn reasonable, cuma tambah 2rb utk upsize. dan berhubung gw udah janji gak minum coca cola selama sebulan ke citra, ya jadi minumnya dituker ke ice lemon tea aja. erita jg gak minum soda, jadi ice lemon tea jg.

stlh "wahhh enakkk" "manteppp" dsb, kita ngobrol2 lg. dia cerita ttg anak2 buahnya. lucu jg. gaya dia ceritanya itu lho yg bikin gw seneng dengerin. tp mgkn gw jg udah agak biased ya, hahahaha...

abis dari sana, kita balik ke pasaraya lagi. soalnya gw mo latian psgp, dan dia dijemput di gereja. spt biasa, mampir dulu ke starbucks. gw buka laptop, trus dia akses friendsternya deh. gosip berlanjut. trus citra dateng. wah makin seru gosipnya.

gw gak tau, ada topik yg pas banget, dan terus terang bikin gw rada hepi sih. kita lg ngomongin kakaknya wkt citra dateng. jadi, erita minta dicariin jodoh buat kakaknya. trus citra tanya, apa musti 1 suku. trus dia blg, keluarganya sih skrg udah gak tll mikirin. wah! dudidudidu...

gak lama2 di starbucks, jam 7 kita jalan ke effatha. trus bubaran deh. citra dijemput pacarnya, erita dijemput sopirnya, dan gw dijemput... er... sayangnya gw gak ada yg jemput. hahahahaha...

Monday, May 21, 2007

i love my parents

sesebel2nya gw sama ortu, mrk tetap ortu gw. tanpa mrk, gw gak mgkn ada di sini skrg, nulis blog ini. nah, bbrp hari ini gw brusaha utk bikin mrk seneng. sabtu, misalnya. kita emang udah niat mo ke itc fatmawati, utk ambil hp fren mobile-8 bonus dari indovision. tadinya hpnya itu utk mama, soalnya ktnya dia pengen pake cdma. tp khan zte tuh, jd rada ruwet, mana layarnya kecil banget pula. ya udah, gw tuker aja sama cdma flip gw. jadi gw pake zte, mama pake nokia. nomornya dituker jg, jd gw keep nomor fren gw.

abis itu kita sempet muter2 bentar di itcnya, utk cari handsfree buat n-gage papa (which was actually mine sih, hehehehe). berhubung tuh hp udah langka banget, jd udah gak ada handsfreenya. abis itu kita coba ke pim, khan di sana byk toko nokia tuh. ehhhhhhh gak dapet jg. ya udah, muter2 bentar, trus kita ke clubstore (skrg udah ganti nama, tp gw lupa namanya apa), utk beli dim sum kaki ayam. ihhh... kok bisa pd doyan yah?!?!?! abis itu pulang. eh gak dink, sempet mampir di pizza hut.

minggu, gw nyanyi di grj jam 8 pagi. abis itu niatnya mo ktemuan sama ajeng, tp dia mendadak gak bisa, lagi agak gak enak badan ktnya. eh kebetulan alda jg lagi rada bengong, jadi gw aja dia aja. ke pim lagi. hahahaha... nah, dari malem itu gw udah niat mo beliin hp baru buat ortu. tadinya khan bisa aja ya gw beliin wkt sabtu, tp gw pengen kasih surprise buat mrk. ya udah, hari minggu itu obyektif gw adalah beli hp. buat bokap, musti symbian (krn n-gage tuh symbian), trus musti ada radio. nah, tadinya gw pengen beliin 6600, tp udah gak ada. 7610, terlalu ce, dan ternyata gak ada radio. ya udah, gw beliin 3230 aja. sori2 aja, mo surprise tp budget gw khan jg limited, hehehehe... utk nyokap, gw beliin nokia 2310. simpel lah. dia pernah pake 3330, belajar bentar jg udah bakal feel at home di 2310. khan nokia ktnya teknologi yg mengerti anda. hahahaha...

nah, pulangnya gw blm kasih liat hp2nya. gw bawa ke kamar. trus gw jg pinjem hp2 lama mrk, bilangnya sih buat mama, utk copy phone book ke nokia cdmanya. half-lies sih, soalnya gw emang beneran pindah2in phonebook. tp yg papa khan gw gak ada alasan, jd gw bilang aja mo compare phonebooknya. udah beres semua, gw setting2 dll, gw tunggu sampe mama tidur. udah lamaan dikit, gw turun deh. gw taro tuh hp2, lengkap sama accessoriesnya. then i went to sleep.

hari ini, gw ijin dr ktr. papa udah brkt ke bengkel. eh kok ada telp dari mama. gw gak angkat, gw lgs turun aja. ternyata mama lagi rada bingung sama hp barunya. hehehehe... trus dia bilang klo papa sih kyknya lgs enak2 aja sama 3230. wah. seneng gw dengernya.

yahhh.. at least gw bkn cuma anak yg bisa bikin mrk sebel sekaligus mrk takutin, tp gw jg bisa jadi anak yg sekali2 bisa bikin mrk seneng. hehehehe...

Sunday, May 20, 2007

update: my toys

yah. by now i've spent some time familiarizing myself with the new toys, nikon d80 & huawei hsdpa card.

nikon d80:
jelas aja gw msh kagok banget sama digital slr. kamera slr film gw tuh canon, sementara digital slr gw nikon. fundamentally, they're the same. cuma sistemnya aja yg gw msh bingung. obviously picking the subject, trus focusing, wah msh kaco balo. exposure jg msh rusak. gelep lah, tll terang lah. wah! tp ini jd tantangan buat gw. hehehehe... i'll be better, for sure.

huawei hsdpa card:
kenceng! jauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh lebih kenceng dibanding zte cdma 1x card gw. bahkan mnrt gw jauh lebih kenceng dibanding hotspot biznet, yg mnrt gw skrg ini mrupakan the fastest commercial hotspot. gila. indosat jg lmyn bagus utk koneksi 3gnya. gw cukup salut deh. wkt gw dulu pake zte, gw blg klo itu serasa pny akses ke hotspot pribadi. tp skrg, klo ngebandingin kecepatan internet antara pake zte & huawei, wah serasa bandingin mobil sedan biasa sama formula 1 kali yaaa... tp gak adil jg sih, ngebandinginnya. 1x itu khan kira2 sepantar sama gprs, sementara hsdpa mustinya dibandingin sama evdo. tp yaaa... dari segi harga, gw sama sekali gak nyesel udah beli card huawei ini.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

MP3

musik digital. gw pertama kali "kenalan" sama yg namanya mp3 itu wkt gw mulai kul di bond uni. "wih keren juga nih," begitu kesan pertama gw. trus lgs deh nyari2, di mana bisa download. koleksi gw yg skrg ini hasil download dari web, irc, napster, dll dll.

trus muncul deh masalah2 sharing mp3 itu ilegal, blablabla... dan benernya emang ilegal sih. tp ya pabolebuat, justru yg ilegal2 itu yg seru khan? hahahaha... tp skrg nyari mp3 itu jadi rada susah. not impossible, it's just difficult. apalagi lagu2 yg aneh2 ya.

nah, wkt gw iseng2 googling utk cari lirik lagu, hasilnya nunjuk ke 1 halaman multiply.com. lha kok di situ ada library. bisa download pula! ternyata, byk jg member multiply yg post lagu, dan bisa didownload. gw heran aja, kok bisa ya, knp gak dilarang?!?! dan makin anehnya lagi, gw nih member jg, tp kok gak tau... jadi malu...

nah, skrg jadinya gw klo mo cari mp3, tinggal buka google advanced search, trus masukin "multiply.com" di domain search. dapet deh! hahaha... moga2 aja bisa bertahan lama nih, sblm "digrebeg" sama aparat. hehehe...

Thursday, May 17, 2007

que sera, sera

kurang dari 3 minggu menuju refreshing psgp. by then, a great burden will be lifted off me. dan bukan cuma burden yg gw pikirin skrg. terus terang gw lagi cape. psgp has been my everything for the past few years. yaa, gw pernah bbrp kali keluar masuk, tp gw gak pernah bisa sama sekali gak mikirin psgp. dan itu yg bikin gw cape...

what will i do next? gw bersyukur bass udah ketambahan bbrp org. that's very good. artinya gw bisa setiap saat "mewariskan" psgp ke mrk2 yg masih muda2 ini. ahhh... it's not like i'm that old, no... tp gw ngerasa kemampuan gw udah menurun banget. not to mention my work will be much much heavier these coming weeks. dan prinsip gw adalah klo gw gak bisa sepenuhnya konsen di psgp, gw musti keluar. gw gak mo setengah2. dan tampaknya gw musti bener2 consider that principle.

so what am i going to do?? dunno yet. i guess i'll have a clue sooner, rather than later. in any case, i expect myself to reach a decision by the time of refreshing. i may not like, certain people may not like it, but if it's the decision i've been dreading for some time now... i'd have to embrace it. whatever i may desire...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

new toys!!

gw udah pernah post ttg mainan baru gw. hahaha.. nikon d80, my first digital slr camera!! i'm still sooooo excited about it. can't wait to properly "play" with it. wonder what will be the event ya... here it's pictured with my "old" canon eos 300v.

next is my new 3G pcmcia modem. compared to my cdma modem, it's fast! wahooo!! it's back to living on fast lane! hahahaha...

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I Hate Myself For Losing You

I Hate Myself For Losing You

Oh,oh,oh
I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?

You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me
Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh
I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?

I hate myself for losing you
And oh, I don't know what to do
Not sure that i pull through
I wish you knew, I WISH YOU KNEW!!!
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
No, no

I hate myself for losing you
(I'm seeing it all so clear)
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything you said?
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
Won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you

gw dpt mp3 ini dari site Multiply. meskipun blm tau liriknya kyk apa, tp gw lgs aja download, save ke hp gw, dan gw jadiin ringtone. only for 1 person. skrg udah gak relevan sih. tp gw msh tetap pake, to remind me what a fool i was (and still am). liriknya mustinya gak sesuai jg, soalnya ini lagu ce yg dinyanyiin buat mantannya, yg notabene co. but it's me. and most people don't understand me anyway. haha... whatever i may desire, it's mine and mine only.

Monday, May 14, 2007

NO!!

oh no... please don't... pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease... nonononono... no way...

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Today's birthday

13 Mei:

- Andreas Mulia

Happy birthday!!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Today's birthday

12 Mei:

- Yabes Supit

Happy birthday!!

Friday, May 11, 2007

Milka Citra Elmeria Horoni

my dear blog, i want to tell you a story. this is a story about Milka Citra Elmeria Horoni, or "Citra", my lovely "adopted" sister.

i met & got to know her from psgp. she's the secretary. i'm not exactly a person who can instantly be friendly to others, but somehow with her, we clicked. she told me stories about her cousin, who died of cancer. and i really listened. we talked about "pacaran", kind of those heart-to-heart talk (really a long sentence for "curhat", don't u think, hahahaha.)

then i got interested in her. "hey," i thought, "i like this girl, i want to be closer to her." so i called, sent smses, asked to meet. u know, the things we called "PDKT". it was really getting intense. but unfortunately i was going to bali at the thick of things, for Rianti's wedding. sooo i had to disappoint her because i couldn't sing with the choir the night i flew to bali. i really felt bad. sometimes i still do. but things went on. i talked to her on the phone. it was then when she made me say the words. the magic words.

then her grandpa passed away. and i was still in bali. u know, my blog, how i wanted to be with her, comfort her. but i couldn't. what kind of a boyfriend i was, huh?!?! shame on me! and she went to surabaya for the funeral. we talked and talked and talked.

when i returned to jkt, she was in sby. the first time we met, as a couple, was in the church. i can't describe how i felt. i was still dazed, not believing she say yes to me. this lovely lady actually accepted me to be her boyfriend...

fast forward. it wasn't really a smooth road. we hit roadblocks. mainly because she didn't approve the way i behaved in the choir. we broke up, rebound, broke up, rebound. i can't remember how many times we did that. and then she gave up. i was really angry. so angry i said some mean words to her. then i realized, it was all my fault. i apologized.

things went ok.we went (and still go, today) as "kakak-adik". during this time, she was knitting back her relation to her previous bf before me. when she told me she was back with him, felt like someone just hit me on the nose, real hard. i had a hard time digesting it. i even asked for a permission to go away. but she refused, saying i meant a lot to her. me being not me, accepted what she said.

came new year. we talked on the phone. she really pushed for me to get a girlfriend, and she set her eyes on this girl, who was actually my "crush" for sooo many times. things became strange when she became mad at me, after i said i still had a soft spot for this girl. i thought, my blog, "hey, you wanted me to like her, now i said i like her, you're angry with me?? what's going on here?" she actually ignored me for a few days. when we met, at starbucks, she treated me very badly. but then, later that night, she called me and she said she was just being playful on me.

then i was going to australia with papa & Chelsea. she was sad, and told me she didn't want me to go there. but i had to go. while i was there, we smsed a lot. she was still sad. when i joked that i considered for a permanent residency, she got mad and ignored me. i was touched. someone really cared for me.

then i got back. however, i began to feel lonely. i didn't get many calls and smses from her. i should had understood that she had her own life, and she didn't belong to me anymore. but i stood firm on her sms which said she would always be there for me. i finally found the nerve to remind her. in what was an unexpected answer, my blog, she decided to withdrew from my life. what the?!?!?! i refused to let her go away. in what was described as a panic mode, i sent her sooo many smses. her friend thought i was going crazy. amazing. i didn't know i had the capability, hahahaha...

soon we patched things up. sooo, until today, we're still "brother & sister." of course, we have our differences here and there. but i love & care for Citra so much, i just can't be angry at her for long. after each "fight", most of the time i'd be the first to apologize. things i do for love.

so, u see, my dear blog, it's an interesting relationship, isn't it? i actually have so many things to tell u, but i'll keep them for myself for now. maybe later ya. gotta go now. bubye.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

my new toy

yihaaaa... finally! i've got my new "toy"!! hahahaha... it's about time i take the next step. coincidentally, i can use the "toy" for other means as well. hehehehe... i'm so excited!!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Today's birthday

9 Mei:

- Arly
- Zusan
- Ervin Lubis

Happy birthday!!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Today's birthday

8 Mei:

- Temmy

Happy birthday!!

Monday, May 07, 2007

"nah, kamu kapan nih??"

pictured here is my cousin, Elvi, with her husband, Andre. Elvi is a year younger than me. now she's married.

next came the inevitable question: "giliran kamu kapan? khan Jola (my sister) udah nikah, udah punya anak pula. skrg Elvi nikah. nah, masa kamu dilewatin gitu diem2 aja?"

*sigh*

katana to cut a wedding cake?? kill bill, anyone?? hehehe...

Sunday, May 06, 2007

alone

why is it, today, i've been feeling so lonely... alone... almost to point of desperation... i'm so ashamed. i have God to guide me. i have my parents. i have Jola, Donny, and Chelsea to cheer me from afar. i have Ajeng. i have Adeline. i have Venny, my faithful SMS mate. i have Erita. i have Tirza. i have Citra, my lovely, lovely "adopted" sister. i have friends. i have my notebook. i have my iPod. i have my mobile phones. but still, i'm so lonely... alone... oh how unfaithful of me...

maybe i'm just being selfish. yes. i think i am. selfish & stupid. stephen. you're a fool. i'm a fool. see, self-pity. what kind of a man i am, huh? shame on me...

what i didn't see..

rumput tetangga selalu lebih hijau.
ya.
gw ngerti skrg.
lebih hijau.
memang.
pdhl yg tidak hijau itu tidak selamanya jelek.
gw udah tll sering ngejar hal-hal yg gak jelas.
susah2, jauh2, repot2, capek2.
pdhl ada yg mgkn gw gak perlu kejar.
mgkn gw tinggal deketin sbntr, gw udah bakal dpt.
yup.
i was blind.
perhaps i still am.
perhaps i'm still wrong.
chasing shadows.
useless.
waste of time.
waste of energy.
akhirnya gw yg rugi sendiri.

*sigh*

Friday, May 04, 2007

Today's birthday

4 Mei:

- Astrid

Happy birthday!!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

menulis itu gampang

bener deh! nulis itu gampang. KLO: udah nemu ide, bahan2 udah dapet, dan, ini yg plg penting, kita udah dpt mood utk nulis.

itu yg gw alami skrg. stlh berthn2 gak nulis, rasanya kakuuuuuuuuuuuuu banget utk bisa nulis lagi. dan begitu nulis, wah kok rasanya kurang sana-sini ya. posting pertama (dan masih satu2nya) di blog gw yg i did this for a living aja udah bbrp kali gw revisi.

cape sih... tapi somehow gw ada kepuasan di sana.