Friday, May 11, 2007

Milka Citra Elmeria Horoni

my dear blog, i want to tell you a story. this is a story about Milka Citra Elmeria Horoni, or "Citra", my lovely "adopted" sister.

i met & got to know her from psgp. she's the secretary. i'm not exactly a person who can instantly be friendly to others, but somehow with her, we clicked. she told me stories about her cousin, who died of cancer. and i really listened. we talked about "pacaran", kind of those heart-to-heart talk (really a long sentence for "curhat", don't u think, hahahaha.)

then i got interested in her. "hey," i thought, "i like this girl, i want to be closer to her." so i called, sent smses, asked to meet. u know, the things we called "PDKT". it was really getting intense. but unfortunately i was going to bali at the thick of things, for Rianti's wedding. sooo i had to disappoint her because i couldn't sing with the choir the night i flew to bali. i really felt bad. sometimes i still do. but things went on. i talked to her on the phone. it was then when she made me say the words. the magic words.

then her grandpa passed away. and i was still in bali. u know, my blog, how i wanted to be with her, comfort her. but i couldn't. what kind of a boyfriend i was, huh?!?! shame on me! and she went to surabaya for the funeral. we talked and talked and talked.

when i returned to jkt, she was in sby. the first time we met, as a couple, was in the church. i can't describe how i felt. i was still dazed, not believing she say yes to me. this lovely lady actually accepted me to be her boyfriend...

fast forward. it wasn't really a smooth road. we hit roadblocks. mainly because she didn't approve the way i behaved in the choir. we broke up, rebound, broke up, rebound. i can't remember how many times we did that. and then she gave up. i was really angry. so angry i said some mean words to her. then i realized, it was all my fault. i apologized.

things went ok.we went (and still go, today) as "kakak-adik". during this time, she was knitting back her relation to her previous bf before me. when she told me she was back with him, felt like someone just hit me on the nose, real hard. i had a hard time digesting it. i even asked for a permission to go away. but she refused, saying i meant a lot to her. me being not me, accepted what she said.

came new year. we talked on the phone. she really pushed for me to get a girlfriend, and she set her eyes on this girl, who was actually my "crush" for sooo many times. things became strange when she became mad at me, after i said i still had a soft spot for this girl. i thought, my blog, "hey, you wanted me to like her, now i said i like her, you're angry with me?? what's going on here?" she actually ignored me for a few days. when we met, at starbucks, she treated me very badly. but then, later that night, she called me and she said she was just being playful on me.

then i was going to australia with papa & Chelsea. she was sad, and told me she didn't want me to go there. but i had to go. while i was there, we smsed a lot. she was still sad. when i joked that i considered for a permanent residency, she got mad and ignored me. i was touched. someone really cared for me.

then i got back. however, i began to feel lonely. i didn't get many calls and smses from her. i should had understood that she had her own life, and she didn't belong to me anymore. but i stood firm on her sms which said she would always be there for me. i finally found the nerve to remind her. in what was an unexpected answer, my blog, she decided to withdrew from my life. what the?!?!?! i refused to let her go away. in what was described as a panic mode, i sent her sooo many smses. her friend thought i was going crazy. amazing. i didn't know i had the capability, hahahaha...

soon we patched things up. sooo, until today, we're still "brother & sister." of course, we have our differences here and there. but i love & care for Citra so much, i just can't be angry at her for long. after each "fight", most of the time i'd be the first to apologize. things i do for love.

so, u see, my dear blog, it's an interesting relationship, isn't it? i actually have so many things to tell u, but i'll keep them for myself for now. maybe later ya. gotta go now. bubye.

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