Thursday, December 15, 2005

I just saw my possible future...

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce my uncle, Oom Adri, to you. This picture was taken today, at the service. His photo was a bit blurry, but it was still much better than what was inside the casket. You see, when my uncle was found at his home, it was estimated he'd been dead for at least 24 hours. So his body was already swollen here and there. I took another picture of him, on the slab, and I didn't recognize him at all. It was that bad.

I'm so much alike him, you know. We both like computers. We both like to sing, although we take a different route in singing. And we both have "Warouw" as our last names.

But what scares me the most is, he died alone. He was 79, but he wasn't married. Fortunately there were a lot of us, his family, so he was taken care of. Me, I don't want to get married. When I told Debby about Oom Adri, her reply was: "Tuh kan... Udah ada contohnya kan? Niat lo jd utk ga nikah?" Debby and I had a deep discussion about this before we went to Malaysia, and her words was realized in front of me when I saw Oom Adri's body. There, I saw myself, several years in the future, lying on the slab, swollen, alone. I had goosebumps, and I still do.

Some of my relatives pointed that very fact to me as well. Kak Nina. Kak Pinky. "Kamu mau meninggal sendirian kayak Oom Adri?" was all I got from them. I still don't know the answer.

But, at least, Oom Adri died while doing one of his favorite things. He was found sitted in front of his computer.

If I have to die, I'd like to die while doing one of my favorite things as well. For now, it'd be either while I was singing, or in front of my computer. That'd be the perfect death.

Oom Adri, rest in peace.

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