Sunday, May 07, 2006

PSGP, GP, and Effatha

My dear blog,

I'm feeling... how to say... I don't actually know how I feel. You see, yesterday at Kebaktian GP, Pdt. Sri complimented me, during her sermon (oh wow!), that whenever I'm around, people would be happy. It's my laughter, she said. I mean, I'm not the person who basks in the glory of him/herself, but I did felt proud when I heard her saying that. It's been quite a while since I got any compliments. And not from my bosses in the office, I tell you!

I wasn't complimented because of my skills or abilities. No. My laughter. Which, according to most of my friends, is loud. Perhaps loud enough to wake up the dead, eh?

On a different note, today, at Kebaktian PSGP. Kenny, the new boy who's still very idealistic, said he looked up to me. Geez, I'm aware of my "senior membership" in PSGP, but to hear that someone is actually looking up to me is… priceless! Then, of course, things became too hot when the discussion became too intense. But, at least, everyone was being honest. What was said came from the heart. Everyone. I almost couldn't stop my tears when I practically yanked Kenny, who was about to leave in protest, to me, and he started crying on my lap. That's when I realized that here I was just like him, when I was starting to make my marks on PSGP. The ideal me, with all those ideas on how to make PSGP better. Oh how time flies.

You see, my dear blog, all these years at PSGP have hardened me enough, to not feel anything, even when everything went wrong. I'd feel something was missing if I didn't go to the practice. Hell, I felt that way all those times I was away from PSGP.

After the things that went down today, I realized that being a "senior" is not enough. I actually have to be a some sort of role-model for the "juniors". And I'm not sure if I've been a good senior there. Only time will tell.

One more thing. I do hope nola will learn something from today. I'll watch.

That's it for now, dear. I hope I'll be able to be someone better for anyone in PSGP. Even for myself.


No comments: